Relate Community Church
Relate Community Church
September First Wednesday | Mind Games Panel
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Clinical Psychologists Elizabeth Anderson Dami Coker join us on Firast Wednesday to share their knowledge on mental health.
Thank you for listening to the Relate Community Church podcast! Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. If today’s message spoke to you, share it with a friend or leave us a review to help spread the word. To learn more about Relate Community Church, visit us at www.relatecommunity.com. You are always welcome here, and remember—you are loved
Why Mental Health Feels Hard
SPEAKER_02Alright everybody. It's a good night, amen. Alright, some of you agree, some of you don't agree just yet, but by the end of it, hopefully we're all in agreement. I'm gonna invite the panelists, those who are gonna have the discussion tonight, and I I I'm so excited. I think we have a lot to share and to show and to help and to bring hope tonight. Um tonight I thought what better thing could we do than can I I I've so much wanted to unpack some of the stuff we've talked about on Sunday with our mind games and just taking thoughts captive and thinking the thoughts that God wants us to think, and how do we let our minds be healthy? How do we let our thoughts be healthy? How do we how do we live that out? And so my hope tonight is to be very practical, but also to have a conversation where we can share some ideas. And uh the panel tonight is made of myself and Pastor Angela, as you know, we have uh often the biggest filter that we think through is the pastor filter, and and almost everything comes from that direction. But tonight we have some people who are also ministry-minded, but they are they have a little bit more of a clinical approach, of a clinical uh lens that they view through because they're licensed counselors and they both have uh a great history of uh helping people through uh psychological tools and counseling. And uh I I can't go on long enough to just describe what you guys do, but helping people kind of from I would say from the other side of the aisle, because but they're in a lot of ways, pastors and counselors are doing the same kinds of work with similar tools, and uh, we're gonna share how some of those work tonight. But more than anything, my hope is that you leave tonight with some hope and with uh some real tools on how to think the right thoughts. How do we take thoughts captive? And um so what I'll do to get us kicked off, and if you want to take notes tonight, you can do that. Also, usually on Wednesday nights, we're not stream not streaming and recording, but we are tonight, so that this uh message and this discussion will be a resource that you can go back to and um that we'll be able to send to to those who might need it. So by the end of it, you might be sending them the link to someone. So I want to kick us off with just uh uh a real quick uh introduction to our panel, and nobody has a microphone, so let me find a microphone. Looks like we have mics. Mics? You have a mic. Okay, here we go. So, real quick, I'll let you guys introduce yourselves. Everybody knows Pastor Angela and I, so just Dommy tell us.
SPEAKER_01Hi, everyone. My name is Dami Lola Coker. I go by Dommy. Um, and as Pastor has mentioned earlier, I am a licensed professional counselor supervisor, and that just means I'm a super counselor. Um so I'm excited, thank you to Pastor Sean and Pastor Angela to have this conversation with you guys.
SPEAKER_02Good.
SPEAKER_00Hi, my name is Elizabeth Anderson. I am also a licensed professional counselor supervisor as well. I'm delighted to be able to bridge together the clinical terms in reference to God's word and how to take our thoughts captive.
SPEAKER_02Very, very cool. We're so excited that you guys are with us tonight and we get to have this talk. Um and so we we're gonna discuss a little bit, but I hope for you guys to just unpack some things to help us and also we'll do the
Faith, Shame, And Asking For Help
SPEAKER_02same. But the first I want to kind of take four four discussions on, and we'll start with the first one is um the idea that God is near me. The idea that God is near uh Psalms 34, 18 says, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. And all of us at times carry uh a broken heart. We all carry this, uh, whether it's broken thoughts or the struggle that all of us carry with us. And so I'll just throw one question out there. We'll start with Dami. Um, why is mental health still difficult to talk about, especially in the church if, like the verse we read, seems to address it perfectly that hey, this is this is not a bad thing, but why does it, why is it seemed that way sometimes?
SPEAKER_01Many church spaces unintentionally teach people that when they struggle with mental health, um, they also are struggling spiritually. So people believe by saying, I am anxious also means that I do not trust God. And I say this in a very loving way because it's a lived experience that I have. So I am Nigerian American, so my upbringing in church was very charismatic, very Pentecostal. So we did a lot of um 40 nights of prayer and fasting, we did a lot of speaking in tongues, we did a lot of going to the mountain to have this encounter with God, which is wonderful. But the belief behind that is that if I have a powerful and a connection and direct connection with the Holy Spirit, then there is nothing or no one that can overcome me, right? Which is not wrong about the power of God. But what that then teaches us is that if I'm still struggling mentally and I prayed and I fasted and I done all of these things, then something must be wrong with my faith. But instead of recognizing that we have a nervous system, there's a science there, and our nervous system needs just as much care as our spirit does. So a lot of people do not want to say that I struggle mentally because they don't want to seem as though their faith did not work.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that hey, I guarantee you there's some people sitting in the room that we feel like I can't say anything because then that that's admitting that I don't trust God or that I I have felt that way.
SPEAKER_00I think that we have to recognize that we are the products of a fallen world. And if you remember that when Adam was in the garden and he was created, he communed with God, right? But what happened when Adam and Eve sinned, right? What did he then do? He hide he hid. He hid because he was ashamed. And I believe that brokenness still is perpetuated in our humaneness that when we feel that we've done something wrong, our natural propensity is to hide. Right? And so what therapy does, it kind of gives a little bit of a removal of that shame. And depending upon how long you've carried it, it's very uncomfortable. And so I believe that we have to understand that, yes, those things exist, that the church has kind of super spiritualized some of the things that are natural, but also recognize that is our natural man that is rising up that does not want to be counseled, does not want to be exposed, does not want to be vulnerable, right? Even though it's helpful, even though the product would be positive, right? We don't we don't live in that. We live in the hiddenness of our sin. And so I do believe that that is a component that kind of a uh underlayer underlier that we don't always recognize that keeps us from being able to say, hey, you know what? I need help.
SPEAKER_02Sure. So, Dami, what would you say to someone who and this is I don't think this is someone we all have emotions that we're processing every day. Like you could tell me something I don't like, and then I'm auto- I'm just processing, like, ooh, I hate that, and then it's gone. And like, you know, if the next little the next moment I moved on, but then there's those the like the depression that stays with us. It's like the the processing where now I'm dealing with anxiety every day, or it seems to be sticking with me, and whether it's depression or anxiety, or um if it's worry that's just weighing on me, what would you say to someone uh to kind of to to maybe unlock God's design for them?
SPEAKER_01Um, loving Jesus does not exempt you from suffering. Jesus said in John 16, 33, right before one of the hardest moments in his life, he said, In this world you will have trouble. He didn't say you might, he said you will. There we go. Right? But he also said, I want you to have peace in me. All right. So if you're struggling, it is not contradiction what Jesus said. It is not evidence that your faith is not working, it's not evidence that you are not close to God. It is evident that you are human living in a world that has not been fully restored yet, right? And so it's important because he does want you to have peace, but it's not in the absence of the storm. His peace is his present with you in it. That's it, right? So what I will say to you is bring your full self to God.
SPEAKER_02That's so good.
SPEAKER_03And I think full self is all of it. And I think we we talk a lot about uh when we come to church, we put our best face forward because we can't have people knowing the real us, then then they'll really get us. And that's really why we push small groups so bad so badly, because it's much easier to be real with three or four people and not a hundred, right? And when you sit in that group, you can't keep that mask on, you can't keep that facade on as well as you think you can, three, four, five, six weeks, eight weeks. At some point you're gonna roll in and you're gonna forget to lock that thing in place, and somebody's gonna say, Hey, you okay? And you have a choice to say, I'm not okay. And we as the church, I don't think we've done really well in that I'm not okay moment, because then we just pat them and say, Okay, I'll pray for you. And then just slowly back up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03When really we're like, we should sit in it with them and listen and not try and fix it and put a band-aid on it.
SPEAKER_00I think that's easier said than done. Because some of us don't want to sit with our own stuff.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So that's how we we move through our own lives. So what are we doing? We're treating our neighbor as we are then treating ourselves.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. So I think that that's a great round out for the first part of this discussion that God does want more for us. God doesn't want us to stay in our depression. He He doesn't He He doesn't just leave us to ourselves. He He wants to come into the middle of it with us and bring us answers and bring us healing, bring us freedom, bring us um a sound mind, a whole mind.
Taking Thoughts Captive In Practice
SPEAKER_02So this kind of the second thought that I want us to unpack a little bit is this that my thoughts are not automatically truth. Because, like Elizabeth, you just said, that sometimes I don't see it myself, or sometimes I'm running from it, or like it's not that I don't want to take the mask off for you, and then I'm just keep it's that I don't want to look at it myself. I don't want to think about the anxiety. I don't so I just keep busy or I keep working or I keep going the other way, or I keep denying it, and taking a hard look at our own thoughts, I think it has to be at the forefront of our of our minds to know that my thoughts aren't automatically the truth. And so uh 2 Corinthians chapter 10, verse 5, we've read this every week in the series that we're in. We demolish arguments, and every thought, which I lost my scripture here, that sets itself up against the knowledge, the pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought. So, which thoughts need to be taken captive? The ones that are not truth and make it obedient to Christ. So, Elizabeth, when scripture tells us to take our thoughts captive, what are we actually doing with the thoughts rather than just trying to make it go away?
SPEAKER_03Someone take a picture of what she's about to write, because this is very important.
SPEAKER_02I see you got the whiteboard going.
SPEAKER_03When we asked Elizabeth if she would be on this panel, she said, I need a whiteboard. And I told I told Pastor, ooh, I'm excited.
SPEAKER_00So, what I put up here are two thoughts that sometimes people struggle with. And so the question is, how do we recognize when our thoughts are not true? Sometimes it's a very gray area, right? And so I have here, I'm not enough, and then I am a failure. There are two things that happen. One, typically, when we run into that, what we call in our world an irrational thought or a thought that is not true, right? It typically has either an extreme or something that's not measurable. What is enough? And who's measuring that? And if we are aligning ourselves, right, with God's word, right? Then we have to begin to think, what does he say about me? And so it's not about the thoughts that come, but it's how we allow them to stay. Where, when, and how long they stay, and if we challenge those thoughts with God's word and his truth. Because God says I am enough. He says I am wonderfully made. He says he knew me in the womb. So he's called me and ordained me for purpose and destiny, and that's great. So I then have to now I've challenged this. So we now have to replace it with the truth. All right, let me know. The problem with I am a failure is I am a failure, right? When sometimes when we're we we make mistakes, we begin to then identify who we are with what we've done. That's an error. That's another way to recognize when that thought is not true. So then we have to challenge this and bring it truth. So first we have to attach, what are we talking about here? I'll just say I failed a test, right? Well, is it true that you're a failure because you didn't pass the test? What's more true? I didn't study. Do you see how we went there? So I need you to be able to recognize when you start identifying with a negative thought about yourself, you have now entered into the carnal world, right? And you've now linked into what the enemy says about you, and you've forgotten what your God has called you. So it becomes significant that we recognize, right? That we identify ourselves as a believer in Christ Jesus, washed in his blood, forgiven of our sins, walking in victory, and overcoming the things and the devil and the war and the world.
SPEAKER_02So amen.
SPEAKER_00That's taking the thought, that's how you take thoughts captive.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02I I think it's so powerful to be able to turn around the thoughts and fix the thoughts, taking them captive. That's a great picture of um practically what it looks like. Now, being able to do that, I think a lot of us don't recognize that the feeling we're wrestling with is that I'm not enough. So being honest with ourselves enough to say, I feel like I'm not enough, and say that out loud to someone else is that's a really difficult thing to do.
SPEAKER_03And I think there's power in writing it down, right? There's power in taking that thought, putting it on a piece of paper, crossing it out, writing a scripture, like but you have to slow down. You have you can't just let those things steamroll you. You gotta slow down and say, okay, hold on. I failed a test, doesn't make me a failure. Right? I am more than a conqueror. That's what the scripture says. I am, I am, I am, you are good. This world is not good, but you are good. You turn all things for good for those, but you gotta know your word. You gotta slow down. You gotta take, you can't just let those captives run around. Yeah, put those babies in a cage.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think condensing down the thoughts that we're struggling with is another thing. And if I sit with you and I have with many of you, and we sit down and you and we start writing down, tell me what you're thinking. Okay, we write that down. Uh tell me what you're thinking, we write that down. And we go through some of these tools in freedom, in our freedom small group, is boiling down the the struggle and the thought and the thing that I'm wrestling with.
Common Lies And Thought Distortions
SPEAKER_02Because sometimes 10 different things are really one thing. So just on the panel, what are some of the common, like I see we've written, you've written two, I'm I'm not enough, or I'm a failure. What are some other common um major lies that we believe or that we buy into and that we carry around that affect a lot of other parts of our life?
SPEAKER_01There are a lot of cognitive distortions. Um, those are simply maladaptive ways of thinking. There's literally over 15 of them. And oftentimes, in order to be able to change it, like Pastor Angela said, you kind of have to recognize and slow down. So if we think about this first one she wrote, she said, well, she first said, I am not enough, right? We can call that catastrophizing, thinking about the worst possible situation or scenario that happens, right? Another one is, well, um, emotional reasoning. So because I believe it and feel it, then that must make it true, right? So walking in here, oh, nobody cares, nobody likes me, everybody hates me.
SPEAKER_02Or I feel bad.
SPEAKER_01Or I feel or something of that nature. So it it it's the idea that because I feel it, then everybody else here must feel it. Or black and white thinking. There's no kind of gray and missing kind of like the context. So I think the the other ones it was I'm a failure because I felt that test. So that means I will kind of forever be a failure versus kind of looking at the context.
SPEAKER_02That's very good.
SPEAKER_00One of the things that um generally when we look at understanding how these things can get identified and how, especially with a lot of catastrophizing, right? The interesting thing with that is we call it spiraling too. That first thought sometimes is very general. Like, wow, you know, um, I really didn't like how that happened, or I really, I really messed up on that, right? That's pretty general. Yeah, you probably did mess up. But then where do we go from that? I never get things right. My life is horrible. No one like we just go down and down, and that's the danger of spiraling. So, what we teach is how do we spiral up, right? Is when we use the word of God and we deal with those negative thoughts and we bring it back to, okay, I am gonna do better. I will submit to what God is telling me. I am gonna study my word, but you have to have the word in you to come against the thoughts that are coming against you. So that becomes really significant. But I the catastrophizing is something we all do. I don't know if you remember, like, oh my, like if um, you know, something happens, oh, everything is just gone. Everything is it's over, you know. Nothing, nothing positive can come from this. And so uh I always like doing the uh distortions because it's so real and it's so a part of like it's so so much of a natural thing that we do, not realizing that if we're on that sheet of those distortions, we are we are in the wrong place. We're in danger. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That's incredible. Because how often do we jump from I really messed up to my life is over or everything is ruined? You've ruined everything. I might as well just throw it all out the window because the day or the week or the whatever, it's all ruined. So that's um that is really uh let me throw another question out here. So, Elizabeth,
Emotions, Evidence, And Calming The Body
SPEAKER_02how do our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors feed one another?
SPEAKER_00Well, I look at it like um, you know how they talk about seeds in the ground? So we sometimes don't have the best representatives of Christ's love in our nuclear families, right? Our mom and our dads, right? So depending upon what your experience was like, how they raised you, what what you became or what you began to believe about yourself, right? And so if those things were in soil that was hard and toxic, then coming from that type of environment, right, it's difficult to latch on to someone saying something positive about you. You understand? And so we have to be intentional about when you've coming, when you're when you have come from a difficult past and you come into the knowledge of Christ, we have to be intentional about renewing our minds and renewing our life experiences. So, what I have uh what I thought about when I think about My own life and how that God has prepared me all this time to be right where I am. But I have a lot of good experiences. But so say that didn't happen. What do I recreate? I suggest doing a brag book. Start documenting everything that God has done for you, how He came through for you, and just have it listed so that when something else comes in, it wants to bring you back and attach you to that negative seed that was sown by someone that you love or someone that was supposed to protect you and care for you, but they failed at it. You can look and recognize that I have a new creation in Christ. I'm a new being. My heavenly Father has said this, and I am now born of the seed, right? Of Abraham, right? I'm washed and renewed, right? I'm in Christ, right? All of those things become washed under the blood of Jesus. Right?
SPEAKER_02So and we're saved by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony. Our testimony is so powerful, and yet the enemy has made our testimony toxic to us because we are so ashamed of the things that we've done, and that even the things we've come through. Well, I'm not telling anybody about that. I don't even want to talk about that. I just want to put that in the closet. I'm done with it. I'm past it. I never have to bring it up again.
SPEAKER_03Well, and there's people that have told you and I, if you knew who I really was, you wouldn't even let me hear that.
SPEAKER_02So many times.
SPEAKER_03And we're like, what are you talking about? Jesus himself hung out with the the rough, the roughnecks. The fishermen were not the nice, white, you know, they weren't the clean people. Look at Paul. Look at Paul. He killed us. It was an activity. David, the man after God's own heart. Yes. That's a whole soap opera. You should go read it. It's so good. It's it's like the Game of Thrones up in there. It's crazy. But it's the man after God's own heart. So you think, I mean, I can promise you you have not done the things that King David has done. I can promise. I mean, 99.9% sure that you haven't.
SPEAKER_02You have to go look it up. So let's talk through this. Anyone of us in the room, we we get thoughts, right? There are our heads are full of thoughts, even right now. Sometimes we stop, and there are lots of practical activities or um even skilled things that we can do to try and take those thoughts captive. But how do we, if we want to filter thoughts from I'm this is my emotion and this is truth, how do we how would you approach that?
SPEAKER_00The way I teach this um in my practice is you gotta first recognize the emotion. Um we gotta we have to call that. We have to find out where that is, right? And then if we are looking at the emotion, I'm upset, I'm sad, or I'm anxious, any of those things. I also then say, okay, how much are you feeling this? Zero to 10, how much? Anything over a six, I guarantee that there is an irrational thought streaming those thoughts somewhere. And that's where the work is, right? But immediately, at least you now have a warning center, like because what we what we have fight, flight, or freeze, right? The reality is we have these instincts because if a bear is coming after you, like you don't need time to think about like, is he friendly? Should I run? Like, all those things need to happen really quickly, and your body knows what to do, and it does it. The problem is we are in this fight in our bodies, and there's no danger. There is no danger. Now, if there's danger, six and above is warranted, it's congruent. But if you are a six and above and we're just looking at somebody bumping into you, we have a problem. And if you don't recognize where your numbers are with your emotions, you can become toxic to the people around you. And so that's just kind of a one, two, three that I don't know what I am feeling, what um, how much am I feeling this, right? And what do I what can I do to bring that number down? Not can what can somebody else do to make me feel better? All right.
SPEAKER_01I also want to add, emotions are not facts. Your emotions are valid, but they are not oftentimes true. Yeah. So I think another big part of it is kind of understanding um what is the evidence for or against whatever this thought that I'm feeling. Like true factual evidence, and that's a place where you can begin to now separate is this an emotion or is this something that's actually happening? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I think that um in my experience of sitting with a lot of people in trauma and those sixes, sevens, eights, is I just I struggle to get them to slow down. Once that freight train takes off from the station of their mind, they they can't slow down to even capture the thought. They can't, it's because they're in that fight or flight mode. And so my counselor and then uh Marlene showed the staff one time that if if you can be still and know that I am God. If you can do that four or five times, you can calm yourself down so you can think. Am I why? Why am I like this? There is no bear, the house is not on fire, everyone is asleep in their beds. I know where all my children are, everyone is fine, you know. But it's that be still and know that I am God. I can promise you, your nervous system will respond to that. Your mind will, because it's the word of God, and you're slowing down to let whatever you think is on fire prove to you it is not on fire.
SPEAKER_02I can say that for the longest time. I thought this kind of a conversation was this is not a manly conversation. This is not uh this is not the kind of conversation that I want to be in. So y'all go ahead. Thank you. Yes. Until the first time I went through uh our freedom curriculum. So the the real hurdle that I I I I can recognize this now looking back that we there's an there's a an exercise in the in the class that we do in our workbooks that I'm doing all by myself and I'm reading it and looking at it. And I and it literally asks me to okay, check all the boxes of emotions that you're feeling right now. And I thought, this is what is this, kindergarten? What I think I know what I feel, I know how to be an adult. I know, but the moment I I'm literally reading through a list of like 30 things, like, wait, anxiety, am I feeling, I don't know. Am I feeling overwhelmed? Am I feeling like the moment I really started to take an inventory of the way that I feel and not just think that this is childish or that this is not like this is below me, then I really started recognizing actually, wait, why am I feeling like this? Like, why? And then when I walked away from that moment and I'm just living life and I'm driving and I'm processing phone calls and going to meet people and meetings and this, and and then I started thinking, wait, I actually what am I feeling right now? Because I'm not, I'm I am a little bit upset. I'm like, I really started to like try to quantify my own emotions, and that's not I had never done that probably until I was 40 years old. I've just I I can deal with my own thoughts, and like when you're when I'm younger, they teach us, well, just go punch your punching bag or go like deal with anger. But a lot of times it's not just anger, it's like I started realizing that what I was calling anger was really like 10 other things, and so it's really important to to to actually slow, like you said, slow down and begin to process the emotions, and um that's separating the the things that we think and feel versus what is actually true.
When To Seek Counseling Support
SPEAKER_02So I wanna I wanna take us into the third step and we'll we'll we'll start to wrap it up here, and that is um I think we can just touch on this and then move into the last part, and that is um that I was not created to carry all of my emotions and the stress and the the pressure of life. We weren't designed to carry that alone. Galatians chapter 6, verse 2 says, carry each other's burdens, and in this way you'll file you'll fulfill the law of Christ. We're meant to carry each other's burdens. To me, that means that we're we're not uh not just not designed to do it alone, but we need each other. And um I think that pastors can help us carry that, and I would just use that verse as a segue to say, too, that there may be some some of you in the room that you you need pastoral care, you need someone to sit with you and pray with you, and let's talk about faith, and let's talk about my next steps in faith, and how can I grow closer to God and trusting Him more. We there are pastors around the room that would love to help you with that. Um, but then there's also another level, and this is really what I want to get to, that maybe you need to sit down with a licensed counselor or sit down and do not like therapy every week for the rest of your life, but even one or two or three sessions just to sit down and begin to identify where you are, and how do you get out of that that certain that's um yeah the spiraling, the spiraling, and so how do we know when? I would just toss this into the group. How do you know when? Okay, I maybe I do need to talk to a counselor. Like, I I've been in a small group, we've been sharing and praying, and it's still weighing on me. How do I know, like, okay, what would that next step look like if I wanted to talk to a licensed counselor?
SPEAKER_01I think some very practical ways to kind of assess this. If one, I'm feeling a sense of hopelessness, right? I'm not doing the things that I normally would do. I'm not engaging with my hobbies, I'm sleeping more. I'm not calling people or calling my friends back, I'm not eating, I've lost weight, or I've gained a lot of weight. Those are like small steps to kind of know, like, okay, something is going on here. It could be anxiety, it could be depression, et cetera. So that would be at the point where I would say you would want to reach out to someone.
SPEAKER_02Sure.
SPEAKER_00I agree. You you just want to make sure, like, if it's interfering with the things that you normally would do, um, that's uh that's kind of an indication if you're feeling those emotions longer, stronger than what you normally would have, and they are preventing. Um, they're impacting your quality of life.
SPEAKER_01I also want to add because a lot of people are also um high functioning anxious and high functioning depressed. So people who scale on the opposite end, right? So almost to kind of manic to where like I'm doing everything and anything and nothing is wrong. I'm fine, I got it all, and they just keep piling more because they're afraid, kind of like Pastor Angela said, that if I drop it, everybody's gonna see and they're gonna find out that I'm this like yeah, undercover thing. So I also want to see if you're scaling the other way, then also that's something to be mindful of.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, trying to prove that nothing's wrong. See, I've got I've done all these things. I can't possibly be.
SPEAKER_03And just practically, most of if you have a medical insurance, it pays for counseling therapy. Yes, Christian, secular, it pays. But if you don't have insurance and you need it, better help is a great resource that will go off your income. Uh counseling is a is available to everyone. And I have to tell you that I am a product of therapy after my people passed away in 2021. I went to therapy and I was shocked at how unwell I was and how much better I am. So good, so brave.
SPEAKER_02Can I can I can I add one thing?
SPEAKER_01Oh, the country for me.
SPEAKER_00Because like I I like to to prepare, I like for my people to know and to come in. When you're choosing a therapist, find someone that is a match for you. Make sure that when you leave the office, you have tools.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_00Um, if you just want to talk, you can chat with your friends. A therapist is supposed to be professional and be able to provide you with healthier ways to cope, giving you tools and a different perspective. If you're not getting those things, then we need to switch. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And find your person. Yeah. Okay. And it's okay to switch. And you can't have multiple. It's okay to switch.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I would say this too that we're you you're not looking for someone, whether it's a prayer partner or a partner in faith, to walk beside you or a pat or a counselor. My mic is cutting out on me again. You're not looking for someone who can just pat your head and ruffle get your ruffled feathers back down so you can just go back tomorrow as you can come back next week. We need to process the thoughts to where we're thinking better thoughts, to where we're not we're not carrying the same. If you're not putting the baggage down and recovering from your past and recovering from the things that have happened and the things you've thought, the things that have said been said to you, then it's just this vicious cycle. But it also often doesn't happen like that, that you're just fixed. Like it's not, it's not a thing where okay, I fixed my thoughts and now I'm better. I think different, but I I think it's a process.
Renewing Your Mind Takes A Process
SPEAKER_02And so before we go, just two minutes, I want us to take a second and talk about kind of speak to the the process of renewing our mind.
SPEAKER_01Sure. Um one thing I will say, progress is slow, and slow progress is still progress, right?
SPEAKER_02That's good.
SPEAKER_01So I would often ask, like, have you caught a thought that you maybe didn't catch before? Are you saying something just a little bit differently? Like you didn't curse them out, you just kind of was quiet. Like that is progress. So sometimes people are often looking for these grand, big aha moments. And that's not really what it is. It's kind of staying faithful to the small, consistent steps over and over and over. And part two of that is sometimes you're gonna revisit the same thing just in a deeper way. I I I'm a testament to that, just like last week. It's like I'm still here. Why am I still dealing with this situation? But it's a little bit deeper and it's all about refinement to him. And I've seen evidence of that, of him doing that in my life over and over and over again. So don't be discouraged if one day it feels like a setback, but another time it feels like, okay, like I've kind of made it. Because at the end of the day, it's really not about arriving, but just kind of having the tools and strategies so that it is not overcoming you.
SPEAKER_00Um, I love that she said that things are a process. So even though I am well aware that things take time, my my brain does move a little quickly. And so I do like microwave stuff, right? However, sometimes the reason that I don't like baking because it requires a lot of concentration and I kind of want to move quick. But if I don't put everything in that recipe to make that cake, it's gonna be nasty, it's not gonna come out right. So I say that to say this when you if you do go into therapy, recognize that it's not an instant fix. Yeah, that there are gonna be things that come out that you don't want to talk about or that you've avoided. So your first few times, you may not feel better instantly. But remember, we're taking our time, we're making sure we're putting the right ingredients together, yeah, and we're mixing it now with the right products, right? Not with those toxic things, not with the things we thought it was sugar, but it was baking soda, like we're not making those mistakes. That's why you have the therapist there, right? So we have an end result that is beautiful, tasty, and available to share.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah, I uh I come back often in my own thoughts to in my own struggle to uh first Kings chapter 19 when Elijah is running from uh the false prophets, and he's running from Jezebel, and um he just runs and runs and runs and runs himself out, runs himself dry, he runs himself uh ragged to the point where he's like, Why am I even living? God just take my life, just I'm done. Like, almost it's one of the few moments in the Bible where we see what I would describe as suicidal or like I'm finished, I don't have any reason to live, just take me now. Why I'm not going anywhere else, I don't have a reason to live. And it's so amazing that the that the Lord gives him a process and not just hey, let me touch you and fix you. He gives him a process and he says, Lay down and take a nap, and then he eats something, and then he he sleeps again, and then he then he eats again, and then he goes on a walk, and then God gives him a mission. And all all of those steps become a process where he goes from being suicidal to now he's back on mission, back doing what God made him to do, fulfilling his purpose in the world, which no one else could do but him. I want to see myself and obviously everyone here as as well as everyone listening to this, that there are moments where we get stuck. There are moments where we get into this cycle of negativity, and our thoughts are just toxic and broken. And why do I even need to go on? What do I do from here? And there is a process for all of us. I believe that first you need an experience with God, you need for the Lord to touch you, you need the Holy Spirit to show up in a powerful way and touch your body, touch your mind, touch your life. But then he starts to walk you through it, and you have to be willing to go on that journey. You have to be willing to, okay, God, I'm ready to heal, I'm ready to process, I'm ready to get better and think better and do better so I can get back on mission. It's not just so that you can feel better. No, it's because God made all of us on purpose for a purpose, and we can get our minds right, we can start thinking right and renewing our mind for that purpose, then we can start walking out the destiny that He's designed us for. So here's what I want to do. I
Worship Response And Prayer Invitation
SPEAKER_02want to not just throw that challenge out there, but I want to close in prayer. And I'm gonna invite the band to just join me back on stage. And uh, here's what I would do. Ladies, thank you so much. Can we give them a hand? Awesome, awesome, awesome. So much powerful, powerful advice, challenging. Thank you. You you guys come on up. I want us to close in worship. I want us to close in uh worship is really just surrender. Worship is uh it's a humility, it's an act of humility where whether I hold my hands up, whether I'm singing out and I'm pouring out my heart to God, it's me saying, God, I need you. I want what you have for me and not what I have for me. And I would challenge you today. Would you stand up on your feet and I want to close in worship, and I want to do this. If if you've sat in this discussion tonight, and you know I need to I need to do better in my thoughts, I need for God to touch my mind. I've been struggling. Maybe the last few weeks you've been listening to the message on Mind Games, and you've just been thinking, okay, God, I want to think the way you want me to think. If that's you, and you want a touch from the Holy Spirit to heal your thoughts, to take your thoughts where he wants them to be. If that's you, then during this song, I'm gonna ask them to sing, and and during this moment, I want to ask you to just make your way up here to the front. Join me in the altar area, and we're gonna pray. I'm gonna pray for you. We're gonna close in prayer in just five five minutes or so after we worship. But if that's you and you want God to touch your mind and touch your thoughts, then don't let this moment go. I want you to make your way down and just join us right here in the front. Let's worship together.