Relate Community Church
Relate Community Church
Mind Games | Week 3 | Look Again
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Mind Games: Look Again
“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world... they have divine power to demolish strongholds... and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
What happened then can become the filter through which we interpret what is happening now .
Numbers 13:27 They gave Moses this account: “We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. 28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. 30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”
We saw the Giants there (the descendants of Anak come from the Giants)We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them. Numbers 13:33
Romans 12:2 — “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind...”
Just because I feel something strongly doesn't automatically make it true.
1. DECIDE WHAT YOU’RE Looking FOR.
“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”… I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. Psalms 27:13
2. CHANGE THE Frame.
Reframing is looking at the same situation differently by changing the
meaning you're assigning to it.
Philippians 1:12NWV (New Whiners Version:). “This is really crappy. I'm quitting small group and never going back to church.
Philippians 1:12-14 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
Reframing doesn't deny reality. It changes how I carry reality.
“Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is... Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:1-2
Discussion Questions:
FACT OR FILTER: What is one situation in your life where past experiences, fear, hurt, or insecurity might be affecting the way you see what’s happening now?
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR: Where have you seen God’s goodness lately, even in a season or situation that isn’t going the way you hoped?
LET JESUS FRAME IT: What is one situation you need to look at again through the perspective of Jesus? What might change if you prayed, “Jesus, help me see this the way You see it”?
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Welcome And Series Setup
SPEAKER_00Well, good morning. It's so nice to see you this morning. I don't think I've preached. I don't know, maybe all year. At some point, I think I did. I can't remember. I was trying to remember this morning, but I have been so excited about mind games. I love any time we can use the word of God for a practical application. And if you missed Wednesday, let me just tell you, you missed it. If you're having FOMO right now, you should be afraid because you missed it. We had two of the brightest minds, in my opinion, that is at relate, sit on a couch and take us to therapy. Who was here? Yeah. Boy howdy. We had the whiteboard out. I'm telling you, Elizabeth was on fire. Dommy was spitting truth. It was so good. And these two women, I always tell people that I feel smarter when I go to coffee with them when I walk away. Usually I'm the one imparting, right? I'm supposed to be bringing the biblical encouragement. I just go sit and hush with those two. I just let them talk to me. And it's therapy. And I just buy their coffee. It's delicious. Delicious.
The Scripture For Mind Battles
SPEAKER_00Mind games is all about uh winning the battle of your mind. And our theme scripture is 2 Corinthians 10, 3 through 5. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world, they have divine power to demolish strongholds, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. Let's pray. Oh, Lord Jesus, we just thank you. You already have done a work in the service. You already have shown yourself to your people, God. You already have healed and encouraged those who have come this morning. And I ask that you would continue the work, that you would help us to slow down, that you would speak through me this morning, and that you would set someone free. In Jesus' name. Amen. Today
Stinking Thinking And Mental Filters
SPEAKER_00I want to talk to you about stinking thinking, which I actually remember my dad did a whole series, like a 12-week series on stinking thinking when I was a little girl. And I remember being about eight years old thinking, Do I do I stink? That was sitting right on the front row thinking, do I stink? And not really understanding, but it got in my heart because all week long, when I've been thinking, those truths that he taught me as a little girl have been coming back. And and I think what's so interesting is that a lot of times we think that the world's version of science has nothing to do with the biblical truths. But actually, stinking thinking is something that therapists call cognitive bias. And it's where we use past experiences to filter present things through. Did I get that right, Elizabeth? Yeah, thank you. And so the thing is that everything that we do, we filter it through our past experiences. And filters are are kind of new to my generation. In fact, the kids in the room have always grown up, and when I say filters, they immediately think of Snapchat or Instagram. You know, the where they make you a cat, or they put a cat just swirling around your head. See, JJ knows. But uh that's new for me. So when you could give a 35-year-old an opportunity to look like she was 27, we bought in, right? Let's go. And so, but filters change the way we think. And I've been having all these conversations with my 20, 25-year-old girls that they have to be careful because if you continue to look at your Instagram filter, when you look in the mirror, you're dissatisfied with the truth. And that's the thing, is that Janelle has some pictures for me. This is how Sean and I see ourselves. That was our wedding anniversary, 27 years. Thank you very much. That doesn't just happen. That's hard work. But this is how you all see us. Oh, this is a lie, everyone. This is an absolute lie. If I was to tell you that 27 years was all angels and rainbows, I would be lying to you. A lot of fights in those 27 years, a lot of slammed doors and grabbing those keys off the counter and marching yourself to your car. You never did that? Jackson, you would never. Not with my girl. But this is what our parents see when they look at us. See the filter? Oh, I didn't know you at that age, but I thought you were so cute. And I know this because I live with my mother, and sometimes she still reminds me of things. And I'm like, I am 45. Yes, ma'am. But this is how we really feel sometimes. See the filter? See, you guys all look at us and think, oh, they got their act together. Look at the halos, their wings. Let me feel the brush of Pastor Sean's wings as he passes me, as he's straightening the chairs and mumbling about stanchions. Know that this is really him mumbling to himself about chairs and widths and measuring. Jackson followed him around all week with his phone, just taking notes. And I told Jackson, I said, Jackson, you need to pray that the Lord will let you see this building like he sees this building, and your job will be a lot easier. Filters, right? If I told you this is how I feel inside, you would say, No, Pastor Angie, come on, you're so fun. No, I want to go home. It's eight, it's 8 p.m. I need a cup of tea and a blanket. By 9 30, my phone is plugged and I'm in bed. I will I will respond to you at 4 30 a.m. Thank you. That's daily life, though. What do you look at life with a filter? It's basically our experiences create filters, what happened to us, what people did to us, uh, past hurts, past fears. And this is really why Pastor Sean is so passionate about freedom. Because what freedom does is it takes how you translate yesterday, lets you process it, lets you go through it, lets you put it to bed so that you can go into your tomorrow ready. Because that's the thing, is that if you grew up with an abusive man, all men are abusive. That's how you see them. If you grew up with a manipulative woman, then everyone is trying to get you to do something. That's your filter. If you grew up or had a bad experience with a pastor, then if I text you and say, hey babes, I want to go to coffee, you think, Oh my God, what did I do? If I call you, you see your phone, and you think, oh, what did I do? What did I do? I just want to tell you I love you. You know that I can't even tell you guys that I missed you on Sunday, or you immediately start apologizing and telling me where you were. I just so I I just missed you. I don't need your I know you're busy. You got a life. I'm not trying to lay on the the you needed to be there. That's somebody else. That's your filter filtering me. Quit filtering me. Let me be me. Let me love you. My God, you're you're judging me by a pastor that did you wrong 20 years ago. We have all grown and changed. All right, that's my that was I didn't want to say that for years. See, the filters you have shape your life, and we see this in scripture.
Giants Seen Through Fearful Eyes
SPEAKER_00Numbers 13. Our boys were in the promised land, and Moses said, I'm gonna send 12 of you guys to see the promised land. You come back and tell me what you see. And we had two young men full of faith come back, and in Numbers 13, 27, they gave Moses this account. We went into the land to which you sent us, and does it flow with milk and honey? Here is its fruit. And if you're in Sunday school, they show this picture of two teenagers with giant grapes. I don't know how biblical that is, that's just what we teach our kids. Giant fruit. But the people who live there are powerful and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anach, which by the way are giants if you do your research. Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it. Let's go, Caleb. Let's go, drop the. But then you got these other ten that saw the land through their own filters. And they were like, nah, we can't do it. Numbers 1333 says, We saw the giants there. Notice the difference of tone. Same place, the descendants of a knack. We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them. Uh, I'm guessing that nobody went up to a giant and actually spoke to them in our own eyes. They looked at those big boys and thought, nope. The definition of small man syndrome, right there. Didn't even try. Nope. The thing is, is their filter was off, and in that moment, they were defeated by their past experiences. They were defeated by their own filter. How many of us are allowing 25-year-old experiences to shape our today uh experiences? The thing, a conversation we had decades ago. Every time you talk to someone, that filter comes right up. Oh, what are you trying to get me to do? What are you trying to get me to say? What do you think about me right now? I must look like a grasshopper in your eyes. You must think so little of me. When really they've all they've asked is if you want fries with that. That's all. You want a biggie size of that? Why you think I'm fat? Ma'am, I just work
Asking Fact Or Filter
SPEAKER_00here. And I remembered with my own filters, I remembered this week's a time when Jake Mooney called me out on this. And it was this moment in the kitchen where I am lecturing. You know, those parents where you just you're like, you're still talking and you're not really sure what you're talking about, but you're, you know, you can't you can't stop now. You're on a rant. Because the thing is, is I already knew how to raise teenagers. He was probably 12 years old. Sean and I were youth pastors for decades. If a teenager had done it, we had seen it. If a parent had gone through something, we knew how to fix it. If they were gonna do something, some something scammy, they were gonna pull the wool over our eyes, we had already lived that life. And our teenagers were not gonna do that. And Jake looked at me and said, I'm getting in trouble for things I haven't even done. And I said, Buddy, you are right. Stop me in my tracks. He was getting in trouble for things other teenagers had done 10 years ago. How many times do we do that? How many times do you do that? How many times do we let our past experiences, fears, and hurts affect current events? Well, I hosted a small group one time and only two people come. I'm never doing it again. Well, the church was only 40 people at that point. Why don't you try? Well, I went to a small group one time and they changed the location and I didn't know where the right one was, and I never tried again. Well, my goodness, people change locations. Give them a chance. Also, that was two summers ago. Come on, nobody was going anywhere two summers ago. What filters are you using? The thing is, is you've got to slow down and you've got to ask yourself, is this fact or is this filter? Is this what's really happening or how I'm seeing it happen to me and not fill in the blanks for other people. Because if they're just asking you if you want to water size something, they have nothing, they don't care how big your pants are. They're just trying to get through the questions. They're trying to invite you to a small group. They don't think you need the small group, they just want to invite someone to the small group. Pastor Sean's not pushing freedom so hard because he thinks you guys are all broken. He loves freedom. He got free in freedom. So did I, by the way. That's why we're here. Romans 12, 2 says, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Guess what? That doesn't just happen one time. That's not just a one-time, forever transformed, forever renewed option. That's every day, every moment, every second, every experience where you have to decide is this fact or is this filter? Is this real or is this just me being crazy? Maybe you're not crazy. I'm crazy. For years I had a hard time making long-term relationships because I learned as a little girl in a pastor's in a pastor's family that people leave. So why make friends if people are gonna leave? But that's a lie because people don't leave. Because I've had friends for a long time. In fact, I have uh relationships in my life that are 30 plus years. So why would I treat relationships like they're expendable when that's not even truth? Somehow my mind created a filter and God healed me of that in freedom. What do you need healed from? The thing is, is just because I feel something so strongly, it doesn't automatically make it true. And I brought you two things to help you change your filter.
Choose What You Look For
SPEAKER_00Number one, you've got to decide what you're looking for. You know how when you go to buy a car and you want a red car, and then all of a sudden all you see on the road are red cars. Is that just me? Jake and Grace and Jackson were trying to buy a car and she had a couple of colors of mine. She's like, Man, they're everywhere. And I said, I know that's how I felt when I bought my car. Because when you're looking for something, it just shows up. And the thing is, is that we go through life looking through these filters of the bad and the fearful and the angry, and then we start looking for the bad and the grumpy and the offense. Guess what? What you look for, you will find. If you're looking for every sarcastic and rude person, they won't find you. But if you're looking for the goodness of God in every time, in every person, in every experience, in every environment, that's what you'll find. So the challenge this week for you is to look for the goodness of God. Open your eyes, look for it. Somebody's rude to you in the counter, look for the goodness of God. Somebody cuts you off in traffic, look for the good. Maybe they're keeping me from a wreck. That's what I have to, that's what I tell your pastor all the time. If we get slowed down, I'm like, maybe they're keeping us from a wreck. You can imagine how that goes. You can imagine how that goes in the truck. It gets real quiet. And then we just extra honk at other people. Think about the vulture and the hummingbird. What does the vulture look for? Dead things. That boy finds them. Think about the hummingbird. Looks for sweet things. And that that girl finds them. Which are you? You're looking for you looking for all the dead things. Well, they're gonna let me down like they always do 25 years ago. That happened 25 years ago. Let it go. Let it go. I wish I could remember the rest of the song. Let it go. Let it go. Elsa had a word, y'all. Y'all need to go watch that. It's the same word. These these two birds live in the same world, but look for two separate things. A lot of times we see this in marriage, where we see a very, very positive person and a very, very negative person, and they clash. But what they should do is they should help each other. 27 years of marriage. I'm just kidding. You're the positive one, right? It's the thing they both find what they're looking for because they're looking for it. So slow down this week. Look what you're looking for. So when you wake up in the morning, are you already in expectation of that coworker? Are you already in expectation of getting in trouble? Are you already in defense mode because what might happen to you? What about if we wake up and think, all right, Lord, what are you gonna do today? Who can I bless today? Who can I make smile today? Those are two different thoughts. And it's not an easy transition, I'll tell you right now. You can you can't turn from a vulture to a hummingbird overnight. But I believe that you can change your mind. Look for the good and you will find it. Psalm 27, 13 says, I remain confident in this. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Some of you should memorize that. Look for the goodness of the Lord. It is all around us. It is the very first sunrise, is the goodness of God. The cool breeze that came after the rain the other day is the goodness of God. Can I get an amen from a hot Texan? That first sip, a cup, a cup of coffee. Oh, the presence of the Lord is in my kitchen every morning. He made creamer and beans and water, and then somehow gave somebody an idea, put it all together, and blesses my soul. Come on, if you don't like coffee, I'm sorry for you. Finds your orange juice or whatever you do. That's weird. Get in your car and it starts on that first time. Come on, look at you, God. Because I had a beater. I had a beater where you had to like talk to it sweetly before it would even turn over. Maybe y'all never had that, but where you have to be like, all right, we're gonna we're gonna go to work today. You're gonna act right, and I'll get you a little gas. I'll get you five dollars. Not y'all ain't never lived that life, clearly. When you get to work and your key card works the first time, come on, somebody. You sit down, no one stole your pens. It's already happening, it's got a good day. But you gotta look for it. Because all of those things could be turned the other way. I guess I'll make my own coffee today. I guess I'll have to get in my old jalopy again. I really need a new car. It's only three years old, but it could all be turned. I guess I'll go to work. That pays for the jalopy. And the coffee. I guess I'll get up. I guess I'll drive these kids to school. They're people that don't have kids that would really like some. I talk to them all the time. I guess I'll stop at this stoplight. What if we didn't have any stoplights? Well, that would be chaos, wouldn't it? I promise it would. I dri I I promise. I could go on and on and on, but you know in yourself what you need to turn around. You know in yourself what you need to decide to reframe.
Reframing Hard Seasons With Paul
SPEAKER_00And that's number two. The way that you change your filter is to change the frame. Because sometimes we can identify the filter, but the situation doesn't change. And sometimes situations are just bad. They're just crappy. But if you change the frame, if you learn to reframe and think of it in another way, it I want to say it like this: reframing is looking at the same situation differently by changing the meaning you assign to it. That's the whole wake-up thing. That's the whole laydown thing. How do you frame your day from the very beginning? I got a text this morning at 6 15 that said, it will be a bad day. And I said, You should come to church. You are going to love the message. What a way to frame the day! How could it not be? How could it not be a bad day? We're all guilty of it. The minor inconvenience that hits you first thing in the day. Oh, this day. Or it can only go up from here. I have been known to go change my shirt and be like, it's a brand new day. Change your shirt, change your mind. I don't know where that came from, but that's what I do. You might need a new pair of shoes. Go right into your closet. Change your shoes, shake the desktop, and go into the day. Reframe it. Paul was the king of the reframe. You see, Paul had a big plan. He was going to take the gospel to Rome because he knew that Rome was about to build all these Roman roads. It would be the best place to put the gospel so we could go to all the world. So he rolls into Rome as a citizen, by the way, Roman citizen, ready to make his mark on Rome. What happened? Arrested. Well, that wasn't supposed to happen. How many of us are sitting in life right now thinking this is not what this was supposed to turn out like? I should have been married by now. I should have been farther in my career by now. I should have been living in my own space by now. I should be being able to take multiple vacations by now. I should be in a paid-for-carbon. What are the things that should be right now? Time for a refrain. Because while Paul sat in that prison, he could have read from the scripture, Philippians 1.12. And this is in the New Winer's version, which is probably some of your favorite version. Not an actual version, but just you know, this is what he could have done. This is really crappy. I'm quitting small group and I'm never going back to church. It's not our fault. You got arrested, Paul. Once again, not an actual translation. Don't go looking for it in the UVersion Bible app. But some of our favorite versions. What he actually said was this. Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served the advance of the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of my brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. See, he doesn't deny the chains, he reframes the chains. And what we know from history is that he was chained to a Roman guard eight hours at a time. Do you think that they talked about Roman politics in those eight hours? Or do you think that Paul preached an eight-hour sermon? He did not waste a second. And then when those eight hours were over, he got a new audience. If I preached you an eight-hour sermon, I wouldn't see you for the rest of the year. See you in 2027. But not Paul. Paul was chained to a convert every eight hours. And I don't know how long that went on. Did he ever get the same one twice? Did anyone volunteer I could go sit with Paul? I wouldn't mind. Who was the real prisoner? The Roman soldier. Because this is way more than positive thinking. This is reframing your life the way that Jesus would see it. Colossians 3 2 says, set your mind on things above, not on earthly things. You see, as followers of Jesus, we don't have the luxury to just choose whatever frame we want to look at. There is a biblical example that we are to set. We must frame our life the way that Jesus wants to see it. That is completely different. That is completely counterculture to what we're used to. That is looking for the good in people, that is expecting the best from others. That is showing peace, joy, love, hope, self-control, perseverance in really hard situations. But Pastor Andy, that's hard. I know. That's why he said in this world you will have trouble. That's why he said it. But the discipline of a Christian decides, you know what? This is what's happened to me, but I'm gonna reframe it through the eyes of the Lord.
A Moment To Return To Jesus
SPEAKER_00And then I think about what if you haven't really met Jesus? Maybe you don't know how to frame your life through his eyes, or maybe you've walked away from him, or maybe you said yes a long time ago and then never thought about it again. This is your chance. This is your chance to say, Jesus, my life is kind of crappy. And I have some really dirty filters. I need a reset. And I want to give you an opportunity right now to just say yes one more time. Because if you don't have a relationship with the Lord, then all of this is just nothing. Because through his power is what changes filters. His power helps us see the good in that grumpy coworker. His power helps us to reframe really tough situations to see the glory of God in them. I could tell you countless stories of how I thought things would turn out and they never did. And when I look back, I can always see how God put his hand on it to turn it out for the better. But you've got to know him. You've got to have a relationship with him. You've got to pursue knowledge and the scriptures and small group and discipleship, all of those things. Let's take a minute and rededicate our hearts. Would you bow your head and close your eyes? Let's say this together. Jesus, I need you. Forgive my sin. I believe you died for me and rose again. I give you my life. I give you my filters. Be my savior. Be my Lord. Teach me to follow you.
unknownAmen.
SPEAKER_00The
Clean Filters For Everyday Faith
SPEAKER_00thing is, that some of you have been Christians for a long time. Some of you have been believers and you read your Bible and you go to small group and all the things, and life is still hard. I think you need a filter clean. I think you need a reframe. I think you need a reminder to look for the goodness of God in every situation. In this moment, we have to ask God, what do you want me to look for? When I look at my finances, what should I be looking for? When I look at my marriage, what should I look be looking for? When I look at my ministry, what should I be looking for? Help me to see what you see. Because sure, God can change the circumstances. But maybe He wants you to learn something. Maybe He is teaching you something even in this. And when you look back in this season of your life, you think, oh, there you were. Oh, there you were. That's what you were trying to teach us. That's what you were trying to show me. Through this building and everything with the parking lot, the Lord continually told me to be quiet. Do you know how hard it is for me to be quiet? It is devastatingly hard. He told me to hush multiple times. Shh. I heard him in my ears. Do you know how humbling it is to hear the Lord go, shh? And then you still just keep talking? Ask me. And nothing miraculous happened until I shh. Until I learned what I was supposed to learn in a really bad situation. And when I was able to reframe it after the hard lessons, by the way, Lil' Slow, you be smarter than me. I was able to see, oh, that's why. Oh, that's that's what you were doing. But you can't see it in the middle. You can't see it while you're looking through dirty filters. You can't see it while you're only looking for the bad. You can't see it while you're messed up in the frame of your own experiences. We need God to reframe. Let's bring the situation to Jesus.
Hands Open Prayer To Reframe
SPEAKER_00Would you stand with me? This is what I really feel in my heart to do. I want you to picture what you're framing. I want you to picture a situation that you are seeing through a filter. I want you to hold it in your hands, and I know that feels a little woo-woo, but we're gonna do it. Hold it in your hands and let's pray. Lord Jesus, show us. Renew our minds. Let us see the filters that we look through like that. God, remove the pain and the loss. Remove the heartache and the heartbreak. God, help us to see these situations with your eyes. Help us to see our kids with your eyes. Help us to see our marriages with your eyes. God, help us to see our finances with your eyes. These situations must be reframed in your word, God. Because we remain confident in the goodness of you, that we will see the goodness of you in the land of the living on this earth. That the salvation that we have been praying for will happen. That the job interviews will come through, but the letters in the mail and the checks in the mailbox will come in the name of Jesus. Because you are good. Change our eyes. Change our heart. Change our minds. Help us to see you in every situation. It's easy to say. Anyway, let's work together.