Relate Community Church
Relate Community Church
Summer in the forge – week 9 – Do not commit adultery
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You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14
Commit Adultery: “to corrupt, debase, or make impure.”
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32
- Without God, it’s not Marriage.
This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:4-5
God’s definition of marriage: One man and One woman, united together for life.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25
- Adultery starts in your heart.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28
- 64% of Christian men admit to watching porn once a month
- 15% of Christian women admit to watching porn once a month
- The average age someone is exposed to porn: 11 years old.
- Spouses that look at porn are 300% more likely to cheat and 200% more likely to get divorced.
- 75% of teenagers have viewed porn by the age of 17
- 41% of teenagers say they have seen images of nudity or sexual acts online during the school day (bypassing existing WiFi filtering.)
- 58% say they came across porn by accident while surfing the web or on social media.
- Porn sites get more visitors each month than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined.
- You can’t manage lust, kill it.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. Colossians 3:5-6
Temptation often comes through a door that’s been deliberately left open.
Flee from sexual immorality. 1 Corinthians 6:18
- Guard your eyes.
The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. Matthew 6:22-23
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. Job 31:1
- Get Help.
Resources for a Stronger Marriage & Recovery from Adultery
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
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Welcome And Series Grounding
SPEAKER_00All right, everybody. Who's excited to be at church today? I know it's the middle of summertime. We got a lot of things happening with all every it feels like every day there's stuff happening at the building and um at the church, and small groups are finished for just a short amount of time, and then they'll be back. Those of you who are already asking, why do we have to stop small groups? It's just a break, and there are lots of things that happen in them in the meantime. And uh I'm thrilled to see so many people engaged during the middle of summer. So as you can see, things are a little bit different today, but we are gonna continue in our series uh in the forge as we continue in looking at the Ten Commandments. And so grab your notes, pull out your notes. However, you take notes, we're a note-taking church. And today's a big day. I'm glad to have my wife with me today.
SPEAKER_02We're gonna have a good time. We're gonna have a good time. We got good things to talk about.
SPEAKER_00I want to take just a moment and look at the camera and say welcome to everybody who's watching online, everyone who's uh logged in, streaming, all of the things. It's a big deal to us that you chose relate, that you chose to connect with us this morning. And if you're right here in the room, especially if you are a I did not expect any of our students to be in the first service because you guys had a long week. If if you're a parent of a teenager, I did not expect you to be here in the first, especially in the early service, but um we're gonna have our teenagers back, the students back in the second service, and have them up at and share a little bit of their testimonies. And um, I I've heard so many great things about what God has done, but I I just want to give a big shout out to our youth team. That's Jackson and Grace and uh Izzy did an it's it's tough keeping up for a week with teenagers because teenagers like to sneak off and do things, and so you gotta if you're a parent, you know it's it's a it's a big job. And so today we're looking um at week nine. Everybody say week nine. We've made it all the way to nine out of ten of the Ten Commandments. We are gonna we're gonna dig into it today, and we're gonna look at what I believe is gonna help a lot of people, and I feel like this is almost we're we're coming to everybody has said that this is a really hard series for the summer. I don't think it's that hard. I think it's it's just something that we don't talk about a whole lot. I don't remember the last time that um I don't think we I I know that I have never done a series on the Ten Commandments, but this is this, it's like the the fundamentals, the very basics of why we're doing what we're doing and what God plans for, what God's intentions for us. And um, I think as we unpack this, we're starting to see. I hope that you're starting to see that God's rules for us, God's plans for us, they're not a prison that uh he's building walls just to keep us in this area. No, it's not to keep us in, it's to protect us, it's to protect our relationships. When you look at the first four commandments, the first four are really designed to protect our relationship with him, to make sure he's first, to make sure that we don't get out of sync and out of line and out of order with the way that our relationship should exist. And um the last four, the last six commandments are really how we relate to each other and protecting our relationship, keeping us healthy and strong and moving in the right direction. Not none of us want, we don't wake up in the morning saying, Hey, I think I need a few more toxic relationships. We're looking for, we need healthy, we don't we when we take uh an inventory of our lives, we're we should be saying, God, how do I make my my life more healthy, my relationships more healthy, stronger, my marriage stronger? And I think today is is that message where we talk, we are gonna talk about marriage. We're gonna talk today. It's not just about marriage, though. So when we start to unpack it, don't start to think, well, this is for married people. I promise you it's not. And as we start to unpack it, you're gonna realize that it's for if whether you are single or married, whether you intend to get married one day or never, this is a uh it's an idea. It's a it's the condition of your heart, it's God's intention for us to live the kind of life that He designed for us. And the trouble with that is sometimes we know where the standard is, and then we get, we even sometimes talk ourselves into uh compromise. We could we talk ourselves into lowering the standard or moving the line. This series is about not moving the line, but saying, God, where did you put the why did you put the line here? And we all have desires and appetites and the flesh that wants certain things versus the spirit. Certainly I have that, you have that. There's no difference between whether you're standing on stage or a quote unquote pastor or a leader or you've been in church for a while or just got here. In fact, I've told God before, God, if I I I believe God, if you'll if the if the center parking lot is available, if the center parking space is available at the donut store, you must want me to get donuts today. There you go.
unknownThere you go. Baby here.
SPEAKER_00But it has to be a specific parking space, right? We think about it a certain way, and it must be your will, God, if that parking space is open. And sure enough, after I drive around the block eight times, it's available, right? We have we we think about things in a certain way that sometimes allows us to move the line a little bit, allows us to move the standard, allows us to keeping God's commands or about saying, God, where's your line?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Where do you want me to live? Where do you want my mind? Where do you want my my heart? And that makes us strong, that makes us healthy, that gives us uh protected relationships. So here's our verse for today. We're not going to read the whole thing because we've done that already. And Exodus chapter 20, verse 14. You shall not commit adultery. This is the one you've been waiting on. Just period. I think the first question that arises is why does God care? Isn't this one of those things that it doesn't hurt anybody? It doesn't affect anyone other than me. Like what doesn't
You Shall Not Commit Adultery
SPEAKER_00hurt her doesn't, um what do you what she doesn't know doesn't hurt her, or what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him. Isn't this one of those things that why does God care? I want to tell you first off, real just very simply, God absolutely cares what happens in your marriage and whether or not you're uh living a life of purity, because he designed marriage a certain way. He created it, he created uh here's what I see when I read God's word that God put man and woman together. God created husband and wife as a marriage, and it's one of the fundamental building blocks of community, of the body of Christ, of family. It's one of the things that makes us strong. It's one of the things that makes us even closer to him. And if you want to know where the enemy will attack you, if the devil wants to destroy society, he doesn't have to destroy cities and knock down buildings, all he has to do is break down the fundamental building blocks of the family. That's our future, that's our kids, that's our that's our relationship with him. But I can tell you that marriage, that fundamental building block, is under attack. In fact, not too long ago, there's a uh website, uh company called Ashley Madison. This is not an advertisement, so don't go look it up. But their slogan for a long time was Life is Short, have an affair. And the design, the whole point of the website was to connect people so that they could have an affair. And their their idea was this will make your marriage stronger if if it if your marriage is not broken because you get caught having an affair or something to that effect, and what people don't know won't affect anyone. I can just tell you right up front. Usually we we we get to the lies later in the message. I'm just telling you, that's a right up front. That's that we're starting with the lies. That I can do whatever I want, it's not gonna hurt me, it's not gonna hurt anyone, as long as I can keep it all together. That is a lie.
SPEAKER_02Well, and I think it's important uh for us to know that oftentimes as pastors, we sit with couples and they say, Oh, I fell into adultery. I fell into, well, hold on just a second. It got it got a little deep before it got to the bed. You you're closed in poof, fall off. Like we we gotta talk about the things that lead up to those things and why does God care so much about who you sleep with? I mean, honestly, and when I was studying this week, I was really looking at the word adultery, and a form of the word adultery is adulterate, which the description, the definition of that is to corrupt or debase a thing, to make something of poorer quality, weaker or less pure. And so that's not just for marriage, that's anytime you bring something sinful into your world, you corrupt the plan of God on your life. And it's it's it's crazy because I think people think, well, what what you said a few minutes ago, what they don't know won't hurt them. But adultery never enhances a life. Lust or anything that is outside of God's will for you never enhances a life. In fact, it contaminates what God really wants to bless. Proverbs says it like this but a man, hold on, ladies, you're not exempt here. A man and the ladies who commit adultery has no sense. Whoever does so destroys himself. That's Proverbs 632. He destroys himself, but he doesn't just destroy himself, he destroys everybody around him. In fact, this week I was sharing uh this message with an old friend of mine who lives in a whole nother state, so don't look around. And she said, she said, I need you to tell them something. My parents, my dad had an affair when I was eight years old and they stayed together, but it affected my entire life. It affected my mother, it affected my siblings, and I still deal with the scars of that affair. And my children deal with my scars from my dad's affair. God just you are destroying what God is building in you and through you because sin is like throwing a stone in a pool. It's ripples and ripples and ripples, and it looks small in the moment, but it every time has destruction attached to it. Sin never just affects you. There is always collateral damage. And when I was studying this week, I just thought, you know, my family likes to fish. Not me so much, but you know, the heathens that I live with, they like Grace is an avid, she's a she literally just sticks the line in the water and pulls up a fish. It is ridiculous. I like to go sit by the water and it's peaceful. Usually people are quiet. That is difficult for me. I usually get shushed a lot on these fishing trips. In fact, I don't think I've been invited in several years. It's probably a reason. And so, but I don't do the worms, I don't do the hooks, I don't do anything. I just sit. I'm fun to be with, aren't I? I do bring snacks. I do the snacks. And so, but I do understand that when the fish is looking in the water, he sees dinner. He does not see that hook. He's looking for something good and he thinks he's found it. But instead of getting a meal, he becomes the meal. And that is exactly how temptation works. It shows you the pleasure for a moment, but not the lifetime of pain that comes with it. It it lust will show you all the things you can gain, but hides everything that you can lose. And that bait is small, but that trap is not. And it is dangerous.
SPEAKER_00God gives us plenty of warning. And a lot of times we overlook it because we don't see the danger in it. Like I said, if you if you think it doesn't hurt anyone, so we're gonna look at some of the some of the damage. So many of you have experienced the damage of that. But I want to give you a couple things that you need to know about marriage in
The Lie That Secrets Do No Harm
SPEAKER_00particular because marriage is God's plan for us. In fact, whenever you see do not you shall not commit adultery, it's almost implied that you're gonna get married. God says, I uh I it's not good for man to be alone. Let's give Adam Eve, let's give him a wife. It's it's good. It is it he who finds a wife is blessed. There's this implication that God wants us together, that we're better together. But when we break the vow and we break the bonds of marriage, we're not just breaking something that, oh, this is a good idea for you to be married. It's it's something much, much deeper than that. So the first thing that you need to know about marriage is this that without God, it's not a marriage. It's not something that we came up with. This is not this was not my idea, or even a hundred years ago or a thousand years ago. God put man and woman together, and marriage is his idea. That means we have to do it his way. Let me read you in Genesis chapter 2, the second chapter of the Bible. If you don't know where Genesis is, this is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Think about the the picture of one flesh. Whenever I step out and when I break that vow, and whenever I when I'm doing something against the one flesh that we've become, of course there become uh injuries. There become I'm I'm creating damage to something that needs to remain holy, something that needs to be remained pure. And marriage, in and of itself, I'm leaving my father and mother that become one flesh. Is it certainly a reference to marriage, it's a it's a reference to the union between husband and wife, it's a marriage to sex, it's a reference to sex. And I want to read you Matthew chapter 19, verse 4 and 5. And of course, Jesus takes it deeper. It's easy to say, well, that's in the Old Testament, that's the Ten Commandments, that was a long time ago. But watch what Jesus says, just like with murder, Jesus actually says, it's deeper than you think. He says, Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female? He said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Sound familiar? So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. We don't just say that in a in a wedding ceremony because it sounds nice and it sounds poetic, and oh yeah, this is uh a ceremony, and we need symbolism. And no, this is God created, and spiritually, physically, we're he something is being put together. But adultery, it separates that. It's an offense to it's a corruption to what God has created in the covenant of marriage, and we're not just talking about a contract, it's not just a ceremony and a symbol of oh, this is what we'll be. We're lighting, we're we have the unity candle, and we're no longer two candles, we're one candle, right? We go through all of these things, but those are they're pretty, they're beautiful things, they're poetic, they're but ultimately deep down, God is connecting hearts and God is connecting at a covenant level that far outreaches any just signature on a page. That why that's why when we when people come and tell us, oh, we got married a long time ago. Well, what was the was the marriage just you signing a piece of paper in front of someone? Or did you stand before God and make a vow? Hopefully, uh I I think a lot of times there are people who, oh, sure, you did a wedding, but are you married? I don't know, because without God, it's not marriage. You're you have you have a contract, you have an agreement, you have you you have the federal government recognizing your agreement, and so if you separate, then they're gonna split your stuff up. I think God cares a lot less about your stuff and way more about your heart and the one flesh that comes out of that. God's definition of marriage is this it's very looking all across the Bible, all through his word, you can condense it down to this, even through what we just read. One man and one woman united together for life. And so uh tonight, actually, we've talked about it over the last few weeks. In fact, Angela and I thought we tell people all the time, you need to get married. If you just had an agreement, if you're if you're married in the side of the government or common law marriage, or you need to get married, and we tell people that all the time, but then we thought we never actually helped them. And and last uh November, whenever uh our daughter was getting married, we started realizing it's not easy to just go get married. No, it is not, even if you know that you know that you know financially it's not easy. So, how can we help people do that? So we just decided let's just have a big wedding. And so tonight we're having our big wedding right here at six o'clock. So, even if you're not registered, if you want to be a part of that and think, you know what, it's
Marriage As Covenant And One Flesh
SPEAKER_00time, and we don't want to spend $20,000 or $50,000 on a on a wedding, we'll buy you cake.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_00We got cake, we got a preacher, and flowers, and photographer, and all the things.
SPEAKER_02In fact, yesterday at the bakery when we went to go make sure the cakes were set. The the baker said, Now what are we doing? And we said, Well, we're throwing a wedding. Oh, okay. Well, that's a lot of cake, must be a big wedding. And so Pastor said, Well, there's a lot of couples. And she said, How many couples? We said, 15. And that that got everybody's attention. Everybody gathered around. We got to sell them, and all of them were like, Anna, Anna, there was a lady in there, you need to go get married tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01And we were like, Oh, let's go, Anna. So y'all pray for Anna. She's thinking about it. She is, she's thinking about it.
SPEAKER_00Anna was being peer pressured by all of her.
SPEAKER_01It was some major peer pressure happened in the HEV bakery. There was a lot of a lot of privilege.
SPEAKER_00We thought if we could give people an opportunity, just a couple people, then that would be amazing. And if maybe six or eight, that would be a huge one.
SPEAKER_02We were really hoping for six. That was our goal.
SPEAKER_00And today it's 15.
SPEAKER_02So at this point, maybe some more. Maybe some more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, somebody in the room today might just decide we need to go.
SPEAKER_02Violet, you need a husband and you have to be 18. She said she said she was down, but it's we've got a few steps to walk.
SPEAKER_00So, what happens is marriage is so important, so powerful, so uh crucial to God's plan for us, and yet adultery breaks that. And God's, like when she talked about fishing, the enemy strategizes on how he can break that. And here's I think one of the greatest temptations against marriage is this that when we get married, I've I find when you find your person, you're like, okay, together forever for the rest till death do us part. And to be honest with you, we think, well, this person is about 80% perfect. It not not to say that, well, I found 100% perfect. Just but there's this 80% that's it's beautiful, it's perfect, and yet there are moments when when everything's good, when life is good, whenever we're when feelings are up and love is high, then this 80% looks amazing. And all we look at is the 80%. That's why they say that uh the scripture says love covers a multitude of sin, because that other 20%, even though it's like, ah, I don't, I don't look, I don't love that, and I might want to change it, but I can accept everything that you are because this 80% is so good. What happens is when love is down, or when feelings are, or there maybe there's a scuffle or there's some friction, or all of a sudden, that 20% becomes the biggest thing in the world. All of a sudden, why do you leave your stuff all over the floor? Why don't you clean up after yourself? Why don't why doesn't he ever do the dishes? Why doesn't he ever help me? Why doesn't he help with the kids? Or what is this? All the 20% now, it becomes everything. And adultery, what that looks like is all of a sudden, when when love when love is not high, and the 20% is being magnified, someone else comes along who fills that 20%. And they they might they may pick up after themselves, they may show affection or affirmation or they may be super encouraging in a way that maybe your spouse is not. And it's so dangerous because they feel they are that 20%, but here's the problem they're only 20%, they don't have the other 80%, but the 20% looks so good. Then once you step over there, you let go of the 80% for the 20%, you lose the 80%, and then it doesn't take you very long to realize that I went from 80%, now I only have a 20% relationship. There's nothing good here. That 80% is so bad. And we make that trade because we fall for the trap. The last verse is this Ephesians chapter 5, 25. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. That's a that's lay that's a servanthood of laying down my life. I'm gonna give up the things that I care about for you, and you're gonna do that for me. And that's God's desire for us that we lay down. It's a perfect picture of our relationship with him. It's amazing how he connects the two. So write this down. Sex inside of marriage is an act of love, a sexual desire outside of marriage is an act of lust.
SPEAKER_02And I think there's a lot of people in the room that are like, look, I'm not sleeping around. I'm not even married. But it all comes down to that adultery rarely starts in the bedroom. In fact, Jesus takes the commandment beyond the body and brings it to the heart. And he says, Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully, once again, women, you are not exempt here, looks at a man lustfully, has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5, 28. The pattern of lust is often that the eyes entertain it, the heart begins to desire it, the mind starts to justify it, and then that life follows in. And then it's crazy to me that when even my age group, we have like these um these lists
The 80 Percent And 20 Percent Trap
SPEAKER_02of people that happily married people have lists of like famous stars that they could sleep with. What? What? And I can't think of what it's called right now, but I bet some of you know that if there is a list that that's a pass. What? No, ma'am, no, sir. And I and I think that this message probably feels hard to you, but we come from a place of love as your pastors, that we sit with so many marriages, so many single people, so many divorced people, that if we could have had this conversation with them early, we probably could have saved that family. And the thing is, is that pornography is one of the primary ways that lust is being fed. The statistics are crazy. In fact, I think they have some for you on the screen. 54% of practicing Christians, practicing Christians report consuming pornography at least occasionally. That's men and women. That's the kids we just took to the camp, by the way, reported that they have seen online porn, and 54% of those teens saw it by age 13, 15% at age 11. It all boils down to lust. It all boils down to that that sin that gets in your heart, and you start comparing what you have to what you think you should have, and it is deadly. Pornography is not just explicit videos and images. And I I think that there's some people in here that just checked out because, well, I don't do that stuff. But actually, those spicy books that are so popular with women right now, that's porn. Sorry, baby. The definition of pornography is a depiction of acts. That's what those books are. Fantasy-driven entertainment. These do you remember when PG was like really PG? Do you remember when PG 13 was like, oh, a few cuss words? They are showing X-rated movies on your television set. You can stream them on your phone right now. And it's crazy to me that it is so easily accessible. And we as believers have just deemed it, oh, it's fine. It's just a it's just a spicy book. It's just uh an R-rated movie that's full nudity, full acts. Oh, oh, it's fine. Oh, you know, it's nothing. Kids, look away. I mean, what? What? In fact, I remember when my kids were little, something crazy would come on the TV and I would say, really alarmed sounding, what are we watching? And then turn and find the remote control. And so now they're grown. And if a commercial comes on and there's like you know, boobs, I'm like, what are we watching? And my grown-ups are like mother stopping, you know. But they but when do we find our boundaries? When do we set like we're not doing that as a family? We're not watching these movies as a family. You know what? We're gonna turn this off, we're gonna walk out of a theater. We're I don't like this. It doesn't feel right in my heart because it all boils down to lust. And I think we can't move on without the idea of emotional relationships cross a cross lines sometimes. Those private messages that get a little too far, private messages that you would be embarrassed if anyone read. There's somebody in your life needs the password to your phone. You need to be able to show your wife needs to be able to go through your phone, your husband needs to be able to look at your text message. Those DMs on Facebook are dangerous. You don't need that guy from high school. He's a mess. He is the 20%, maybe. He might be the 10%. You don't need that old, that old high school fling rolling. Hey, you do not need that. She is the devil. She will wreck your family, and your grandchildren will pay the price. Am I yelling? I'm yelling. But the thing is, is the enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy your family, and I'm not having it. I can't sit here and just let you do
Lust Porn And Hidden Emotional Affairs
SPEAKER_02what you want because I love you. In fact, picture this. Imagine two demons sitting at the council of pain and destruction, discussing how do we wreck marriage? Marriage is the greatest gift that God has given to the world. How do we wreck it? Hmm. They think about it over. I know, easy and a fair. No, no, no, it's too obvious. They'll notice. Fine. We'll start with a phone. A phone, he says. Yes. A secret picture, a secret conversation, a fantasy that nobody knows about. Oh, I like it. It sounds mean. We'll make it so easy to find. A simple Google search, but embarrassing to admit. Shame, perfect. And they go on and on. I know we'll start them young, 13 years old, 11 maybe. That way they never know what true love looks like. And they always have comparison to bodies that are untouchable. They expect real marriage to look like these books and these videos and these movies. They expect that that real love is easy and not hard to fight for. And when real love asks for patience and sacrifice and self-control, lust will whisper, take what you want, compare what you have and hide what you're doing. I think that demon leans back and says, It's so simple and so destructive. I love it. Lust is a trap. It is a trap and it will wreck your family.
SPEAKER_00And so we normalize. Y'all relax. Pastor, relax. It's not that big of a deal. No, it's it is a big deal because it opens a door. It's not like um, it's not a gateway drug, it is the drug. It's if um the point number two was this that adultery starts in the heart. Jesus said, if you think about it, so the moment that those thoughts are allowed to start, the moment that those thoughts, that's why the scripture says to take every thought captive. Because once the thought is allowed to have a place, once I've made room in my heart to think about this thing, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Then I become the the the adult the act of adultery is just the final step in something that's already been allowed to live in me. So we have to normalize purity. We have to we have to stand for a new standard of okay, this is God's standard, this is how we're gonna live. We're not gonna normalize things, we're gonna draw the line way, way back. So, how do we? And I want us to kind of dig in just a little bit to lust because I think it is the key. It's the it's the pivotal moment. It is the mark where adultery enters my mind, enters my heart. It's like way before I ever physically do something, I'm thinking. So, how do I overcome and stop the thought before it ever happens? Here's the thing. Number one, I'm gonna give you three things real quick, and then we're gonna wrap it up. Number one, you can't manage lust. You have to kill it. If you're just thinking, oh, okay, well, I guess I'll do it a little bit better. You just like if you're thinking this message is a uh a challenge or an encouragement, we just need to move the line just a little bit further back, and I'll just try harder. Can I just look you? I wish I could walk around the room and look every single one of you in the eyes. If I'm looking at you, it's not personal, but it is personal. Your willpower is not enough to overcome lust. It's not. You're not that good. I'm not that good. You're not, this is not something that you're gonna learn to get better at. Watch this. Colossians 3 verse 5 says, put to death. Therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature, sexual, sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry, because of these, the wrath of God is coming. It this is a serious deal. Elbow your neighbor and say, This is serious. Pay attention. This is not, hey, just do a little bit better. You keep it on your phone, but just minimize the time. No, this is put it to death. Kill it. When the Bible talks about cutting off your arm if it or your eye, gouging out your eye if it offends you. I'm not telling you to gouge out your eye. If you look at something you're not supposed to.
SPEAKER_02No, but you can delete the app. I'm just saying, there's probably some apps on your phone you need to delete.
SPEAKER_00Listen to this. The Bible tells us to fight all temptations but one. It tells us to fight temptations, yet when it talks about this thing, it doesn't talk about fighting a temptation. It says it doesn't tell us to fight the temptation of sexual immorality. That's not a fight you can win. If you're not gonna listen to me, the person next to you, tell them, you can't win this. Temptation often comes through a door that's been deliberately left open. You leave the door open a little bit, you know. I don't want to totally I might, you know, I might want to come back and look at that. I put a little bookmark on it. And then we fall to the same temptations over and over and over. I can tell you that I have binged Reese's pieces, ice cream, chips and salsa, but I've never binged those things when I didn't have those things. You can't binge something that you don't have access to. So how do you kill it? How do you break it? Watch this, 1 Corinthians chapter 6, verse 18 says, flee from sexual immorality. It doesn't say fight it, it doesn't say stand there and argue with it and reason with it. And well, if I just do this and if I just think about it a little bit differently, and if I just make myself a note, and if I just no, run. Right, run, flee, cut it out of your don't have it in your life. Psalms several places in the Bible say, I'm going to, I'm not gonna walk in the way of the wicked. Proverbs, I'm I'm I'm gonna walk a different way. I'm gonna go another direction. I'm gonna go another, I'm gonna create a different path. So, what does that look like physically? What does that look like practically? That means that if I'm scrolling on the internet, come on, I want to walk around and look at everybody again. And you just wow, I'll just stop and check this out. Maybe they need some prayer. I don't know. Let me zoom in. Let me zoom in right here and just investigate a little bit more. I might need to send this to Pastor. I might need to send this to some of my prayer team.
SPEAKER_02You do not need to send it to Pastor.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, don't send it to me.
SPEAKER_02Because you're sending it to me. I got his password.
SPEAKER_00You might need to trade, you might need to get rid of the app altogether. Well, that seems a little extreme. There's good stuff. Listen, if you're leaving open a channel or a door or a pathway for someone to text you or DM you or connect with you, or just for you to have access to things. You you might be thinking, well, this is a little bit extreme. It doesn't really affect anybody. We're we've already discussed that. This is not legalistic, this is not me creating rules for you. Listen, I'm I'm totally uh not for us deciding what you need to do. I'm not gonna stand up and uh legislate morality to you and say, hey, in this church, we do this or we don't do this, or we don't watch Netflix, or we don't go to the movies, or we don't wear certain kinds of clothes. No, I'm not gonna just tell you how to live, but I'm very much for you making rules, even if the Bible doesn't say implicitly, don't watch R-rated movies or PG 13 movies. Wherever you decide I need to draw the line right here to make sure that I don't want to go here, so I'm gonna set the line way over here. That doesn't mean that everybody has to live by those rules, but you might just decide that this is our house. We're not gonna just as for me in my house, we're gonna set the standard, we're gonna, we're gonna draw the line over here. We're not gonna have um certain apps on our phone. I know people who won't go to the beach because they'll think they'll be tempted. That might not be a rule for you, but for them it might be. I know people who will not go to a movie theater because they think that they can't control what they're that they don't trust themselves to walk out or chick because they can't change the channel.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00For you, it might mean that you don't have TikTok on your phone or that you don't have certain other apps or Facebook even. Well, that seems extreme. It might not be for you. If it's offending you or causing you to sin, cut it off. Kill it.
unknownThat's good. That's good.
SPEAKER_02And number two is guard your eyes. If adultery begins in the heart, then we have to pay attention to what we continually place before our eyes. It's like when we're driving. Wherever our eyes go, the car goes. Your your hands will follow your eyes. And if you stare into that ditch long enough, you go in in the ditch. Last night I had to drive home super, super late. I'm not a I'm not a confident driver on a good day with no traffic in my own car. But I was at
Kill Lust Guard Eyes Get Help
SPEAKER_02midnight in a Friday and Saturday night 45 adventure in the truck. Thank you. It was not good. Two hands, no music the whole way home, about a 25-minute drive. It was very, very intense because I know that I am not a great driver. I gotta stay focused, I gotta stay straight because and that that literally coincides with our lives spiritually because our lives will move in the direction of our focus. The question isn't what are we watching? It's what is what we are watching is teaching me to desire. Jesus said it this way the eye is the lamp of the body. If you are if your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. What you repeatedly allow through your eyes, through your mind, through your what you allow to just just think about and ruminate on and fantasize about, all of those things will begin to direct your life. And it reminds me of a song I used to sing to the kids. Be careful, little eyes, what you see. Any Sunday school kids? Be careful, little eyes, what you see, for the father up above is looking down with love, looking at what you're looking at, by the way. Be careful, little eyes, what you see. And it's so important that you make a covenant with your eyes that I'm not gonna do this, that I'm not gonna go here, I'm not gonna look at this, I'm not gonna open this app, I'm not gonna talk to that person. There's there's some decisions that you have to make that you avert your eyes. And I'll never forget, Jake and I were in the mall, and he was about, I don't know, 13 years old, and a woman rolled by. I don't know where she thought she was going, but it wasn't Macy's. It was a lot. And I remember it just came out of my avert your eyes, my son, which is a scripture. And I it's a joke now, because now we just say it, you know, when there's a big interesting character moving around. But it's how often do you tell yourself, avert your eyes, my son? Avert your eyes, my daughter. Like it's not, it's not good for me to look. Because you cannot keep feeding your eyes what you're asking God to remove from your heart.
SPEAKER_00Last thing. So number one, you have to kill it. Number two, you're gonna guard your eyes, and the third thing is this you need help. I need help. You gotta get help. So I wanna I hope today to give you a few ideas. I hope you're deciding some things through this message. In fact, I'm gonna invite the band to join me, and we're gonna wrap it up. But I hope even now at the end of this message, the Holy Spirit is is uh urging you to make some decisions to to clean it up. Let's let's practically, and here's some ways that you might need help. This is not something you can battle and win in private, and you think, well, I just can't tell anybody, and I'll do better, Pastor. I'll do better, God. I promise. If you'll just help me be stronger. No, you you absolutely need some help. My favorite small group is freedom. Freedom will start in September. Small groups will start in September. You need someone to be an accountability partner with you, that someone that you can just talk to and say, hey, brother, I I am really struggling with this. Someone who's not gonna look down on you and say, well, you're disgusting. Someone who's gonna look at you and say, I know it's hard. Let's do better together. Someone who you can text or who will text you and say, Hey, how's it going today? How are you doing? How uh you staying strong? How are things looking? Maybe it's a group text with a few brothers or a few sisters and just say, Hey, I'm really struggling with this in my heart and in my thoughts, keeping my thought life clean. Ecclesiastes says, in in Ecclesiastes 4, it says, Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Unfortunately, many have fallen over and over and over and over. We we we tend to do that, thinking, I'll do better this time. That doesn't work very well. We're gonna throw a QR code up on the screen for extra resources, resources for making marriage stronger, me resources for making your thought life cleaner to help you. In fact, there's an app if if you think it's every time I get on my phone, I'm just tempted to go here or there. There's an app called uh Covenant Eyes, which actually you connect with someone else, and then it sends them a message if something pops up on your phone so that you're not the only one watching out. We're guarding our eyes and how we see people. Maybe it's even coming to the prayer team at the end of service. That's why every week there are people up at the front that we're we're doing that, we're fighting these the fight together. We're walking towards Jesus together. Last verse, second to last. James chapter 5, verse 16. Therefore, confess your sins to each other, pray for each other so that you may be healed. There's a part of you that's not gonna be healed unless you're walking through it with someone else. God will forgive us, He's faithful to forgive us if we confess to Him, but don't walk around injured and broken and malfunctioning. And if today, maybe you thought as it relates to adultery or fornication or pornography or your thought life, all the things. If you thought, you know what, it's like I've messed up on my diet, why should I change now? I've already messed up, I've already I've already hurt my marriage or my heart or my I've hurt this person or messed up this relationship. Can I tell you that God is faithful to forgive and heal and bring bring you back to a place of purity, bring you back to a place where you can stand before Him pure. But we can't just write it all off and say, Oh God, give me grace. No, let's live the way He wants us to live. Let's reach for holiness, let's reach for righteousness, let's reach for His standard and His protection and His blessing on our marriages, on our homes, our families. I promise you, you'll never regret it. Let's not fight for the things of the world, but let's fight for the things that God has for us. I want to pray with you and then we'll dismiss. Would you just bow your head right where you are? I'd love to invite every person in the room to let's realign ourselves with God's will, realign our lives with his will. Maybe this is your first time to ever do that. Make him your Lord, make him your savior. Choose to follow somebody who loves you more than you could ever imagine and has more for you
Confession Forgiveness And Closing Prayer
SPEAKER_00than you can ever think. Would you say these words with me today? And let's surrender to a heavenly father that cares about us and wants to bless us. Would you say this, dear Jesus? Today I choose to follow you, to live the way you want me to live. I want to walk in your blessing, and so I turn from my wicked ways, I turn from the things of this world. I don't want the things of the flesh. So forgive me. Give me a new heart, give me a new mind. Help me to see things the way you see them. Help me to think about things the way you think about them. Help me to live the way you want me to live. Put your spirit in me. From this day forward, I choose to follow you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Put your hands together for everybody who said that prayer. Thank you, babe, for speaking with me today and preaching. It's been an awesome nine weeks already. We got one more left. I'm looking forward to finishing this series and finishing the supper strong. I'm gonna invite the prayer team to join me at the front. Would you stand up on your feet? We love you. God bless you. Thank you for joining us today. We'll see you next week.