Sometimes People Suck | Week 2

Critical People

Option 1:
Don't respond.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:23

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Option 2:
Respond carefully.

Now the Ephraimites asked Gideon, “Why have you treated us like this? Why didn’t you call us when you went to fight Midian?” And they challenged him vigorously. But he answered them… Judges 8:1-2

When the men of Ephraim heard Gideon’s answer, their anger subsided. Judges 8:3

When emotions are high , wisdom is low.

Option 3:
Listen and make a change.

If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Proverbs 15:31-32

Always guard your heart

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Proverbs 12:18

So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. Romans 14:10

Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Romans 14:12-13

Discussion Questions:

• What is the most ridiculous criticism you’ve received?
• How long has it been since you were last criticized?
• Think of the most critical people you know. What do you think causes all their criticism?
• Pastor Sean said, don’t respond, respond carefully, listen and make a change, and guard your heart. What is your typical response?
• Which do you struggle with more? Being overly critical or overly sensitive to criticism? How can you do better this week?

Thank you for listening to the Relate Community Church podcast! Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. If today’s message spoke to you, share it with a friend or leave us a review to help spread the word. To learn more about Relate Community Church, visit us at www.relatecommunity.com. You are always welcome here, and remember—you are loved

Transcript

Welcome And Gratitude

SPEAKER_01 0:04

All right. What's up, Relay Church? You're here, we're here. Awesome. It's good to be in God's house. And we have just come through such a busy season with Easter, but I can't believe you guys are all here today. A lot of times after Easter, the people everybody's like, I'm just staying home. We just did so much. Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, and then the next weekend full of just outreach. And I've I've watched as you guys poured out, especially the dream team. You guys showed up day after day to serve in our community and to just reach out and help people. And it's been incredible to be a part of it. And to have you back here today, I love it. Because we've come to study God's word a little bit and to see each other and to celebrate God's goodness as we worship today. So, how many of you guys are excited to be here today? Come on. So good, so good. Awesome. If you are watching online today, I just want to look at the camera and say that it means a lot that you chose to worship with us, that you chose to click in and uh study with us today and open up God's word. He has a plan and a purpose for us, and today we're gonna discover it. And so, with that said, I'm gonna dive right into uh week number two of a series that is is called Sometimes People Suck. And some of you may have come here today just to hear what this is about, and you need to hear what this is about. Uh, some of you brought someone today because of this series, and you thought they really need to hear this. Week two. The whole idea of this series, the whole

Series Focus On Difficult People

SPEAKER_01 1:38

idea is that there are people in our lives that we're called to love. God said, love them. God said, take care of them, feed my sheep. He said that that's what this is about following Jesus and living like Jesus, loving like Jesus, and for God so loved the world that he gave. Sometimes that's so hard because people are really difficult to love because they suck sometimes. And I put the word sometimes because they don't suck all the time, usually. They just sometimes it's just gets really bad sometimes. And so last week we looked at uh how do we love controlling people? How do not not how do we love when we control people, but how do we love people that are controlling and manipulative and bullying? And uh, if you if you need to hear that, then go back and watch it or listen to it on the uh podcast. We have all of that online. Today we're gonna look at um a different group of people, but they're similar, they have a similar impact on us, a similar way of draining us and uh and sucking our life out. And this is a person who is really critical. We all have people in our lives that are critics, people who are judgmental, people who think they know everything. And so we're gonna look at that. Next week it'll be people who are overly needy or clingy or just it sometimes feels like we want to love people, want to help people who are in need, but it can become a drain on us. And then we're gonna look at uh people who are hypocritical, people who are one way and then they're another way.

Why Criticism Hits So Hard

SPEAKER_01 3:10

And so sometimes that can that can be really hurtful and painful. There is a way though, and so each week we're gonna open up God's word and see what the Bible shows us and how we how we can face those types of people in our lives. Sometimes those people are really close. Sometimes, especially when we look at critics, sometimes those people stand next to us, sit next to us at church. Sometimes those people, especially when you look at people who are church people, people who are even Jesus followers, what happens is we become spiritual fault finders. We become I and listen, I am one of our core values that relate is that we pursue excellence. I want everything to be perfect, and so when I walk into a room, you can know that if there's trash or a little speck of dirt, I've seen it. My problem is I want to tell everybody who put that dirt there. I want to figure out, yeah, I want to get down to the bottom of it if the chairs aren't straight. I see that. If I walk at my to my house, my kids are saying amen, but they've both moved out by now. But I could walk in the house and I immediately know all the things that need to be fixed. Whose stuff is this? Whose shoes are these? Whose backpack is this? I can find all uh I have the gift of a critical eye when I need it. Some of you guys have already sitting in the service, you've already recognized five or six things that need to be fixed. It was the lights or the screen or the singers or somebody's clothes who are up or on up on stage. I see, I see that. You're taking you're making a list. So, how do we deal with those people? How do we love those kinds of people? How do we not become that that guy? How do I how do I not become that person who's so much of a critic that no one wants to listen? Some of us never hear from our boss unless there's a problem. You know, when they call, some of us are so conditioned that the pastor is critical that if I call you, you say, What's wrong? Why would he be texting me? Why would he be needing to meet with me? I just want to have coffee. I have had coffee with some of you, and I've had dinner or lunch, or just met with some of you, and you're so surprised that we get to the end of the lunch or the coffee, and you're like, Really? There was nothing wrong? You still expecting because we're conditioned by the critical people. Some of us have parents that just nitpick, it feels like it. They are super judgmental, but maybe it comes from a good place, maybe they want to be helpful, but sometimes that overwhelming critic just becomes draining, right? Maybe it's a spouse. Some of us have a spouse that will criticize the way we look, the way we dress, the way we walk. Maybe the way you talk, the way you chew gum, or the way you breathe just gets them so much. Why are you breathing that way? Or they take note take notes while you're sleeping and let you know that last night. I don't think I have to give any more details. And I think this is probably never more um accurate than uh at the church. I feel like there are so many critics of church in general, um, especially as it relates to our online community. We have a growing online community. Shout out to Shanna, who's probably out right now making comments and greeting people on the

Church Critics And Online Trolls

SPEAKER_01 6:55

online uh team. But our uh listen, people online are vicious. Maybe just because they're hiding, nobody, they think nobody knows who they are, nobody they they don't have to do it in person. It's a little bit easier to drop a comment and be just ugly about somebody else's life. My favorite uh comment that we've ever received was with a Google rating, a Google, um, it was a one-star Google rating for the church, and it only said, never been there. I thought you you suck. You know, you have no right to leave one star if you've never been there before. My second favorite Google rating was actually one of our leaders. Y'all won't believe this. One of the relate leaders who is no longer a leader. I'll just let you know that, but not having anything to do with this. They left a two-star rating, and then when we called them and said, Hey, you realize you left a two-star rating, could you just go back and put a five-star in? It would really help us. And he said, if you want five-star rating, you have to do five-star things. And I said, You know what? One day I'm gonna preach about you. You're gonna be a part of a sermon about how people suck. Sometimes the criticism is about me, about how the pastor preaches too long or preaches not long enough. Sometimes it's about the service. The service is not long, long enough, or it's too long, or the music's too loud, or the music's not loud enough, or I like certain songs, or I like certain types of songs, or I don't like that song they sang today. We get so critical, right? Because we think we our opinion matters, and it usually does. Maybe it's the type of Bible or the version of the Bible that I preach from. I get criticized plenty, and I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it just gets to me a little bit. Here's what Aristotle, I think Aristotle said this. To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. I do have one criticism about that particular quote, and that is this if you do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, then somebody is gonna look at you and say, Why aren't you doing anything? Why aren't you saying anything? Why aren't you doing anything with your life? If you're alive, you're gonna be criticized because there are people who are critics. And sometimes those critics are well-meaning and sometimes they are not well-meaning, but how do we love them the way that Jesus wants us to love people? And here's the here's here's the kicker that if you're a Jesus follower, I think it's compounded even more because sometimes people will criticize you and it doesn't have anything to do with you. It has simply to do with the in fact, Jesus said if we follow him, they'll criticize you because they criticize me. They'll hate you because they hated me, they crucified him, even though he came with love. So here's I'm gonna give you four four responses, or if you will, four options, because you don't have to do anything, you can continue to let it suck the life out of you, continue to let it drain you. But I'm gonna give you uh starting with three options. So here's option number one. When you're criticized, when you're dealing with someone who's judgmental in church, outside of church, in your life, here's how our here's our first option, and you can write this down in your notes because we are a note-taking church, pull them out. The first option

Option One Ignore The Insult

SPEAKER_01 10:35

is this number one, just don't respond. If you're able to just ignore the emotional response that comes up and says, you know what? Let me tell you what I tell. If you can get past that and you can just not let it bother you, I used to tell my kids, just let it roll off your back, don't let it bother you. But it does bother me, Dad. Right? It does, it does bother us. If you can, this is as we read through the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, Jesus' life, we see him do this a lot. He just doesn't respond, he chooses not to. And so Peter is giving us a description of, hey guys, I I lived with Jesus, and this is what I saw him do. This is the way I saw him respond to his critics. And then we read in 1 Peter chapter 2, verse 23, he's describing Jesus by saying he did not retaliate when he was insulted. He didn't have to like get back at them or keep a record or a list of all the people who. If you're thinking maybe they didn't insult Jesus, no, they they if you think you've been insulted, Jesus was insulted by everybody. They said he was the friend of uh sinners. He's hanging out with the wrong people, he's a drunk, he's he's always with in the wrong places, he doesn't hang out in the right places, he eats too much, he parties too much, he's a heretic. He calls himself a religious leader. You call that a religious leader? He's always getting picked on by people who have a problem with him. Not only did he not retaliate when insulted, he says, nor threatened revenge when he suffered. How often do we think, man, this hurts so bad? I'm gonna make some, I'm gonna make them pay for this. He just released that. He left his case. Now, this is key right here. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. I think for a lot of Christians, this is almost like permission to pray bad things on other people. This is not permission for you to pray. God, get them. I'm gonna leave them to you. God, you can get them a lot worse than I can. This is not permission to pray that prayer. This is permission to say, God, make me like Jesus. Help me to let God help me to forgive. Help me to release this and not let it weigh on me and become a root of bitterness. This can be extremely powerful in your life to be freeing. Like, it doesn't bother me when you say that. I'm giving it to God. Not I'm giving it to God so He can get you when nobody's looking because He's keeping a list. No, that's not this is very powerful, very freeing because my heart is set free by not hanging on to it. But this is not just a skill, this is something that God has to empower you to do. This is something that you have to desire. Otherwise, we hang on to those bad feelings. We hang on to the emotion of unforgiveness and let it become bitterness. Because we kind of like it. It's almost like payback, it feels like a counterbalance to the to the bad we've been given or the critics we've been, uh, the insult we've received. So this is not pretending it didn't happen. Watch this. Uh, in Proverbs chapter 19, verse 11, he says, A person's wisdom yields patience. It is to one's glory to overlook. Everybody say, overlook an offense. This is not saying, I'm gonna pretend like this didn't happen. This is more like to pass over. I'm just gonna step over it. I see the mess, it bothers me, but I'm gonna step over it and I'm gonna move on. I'm not gonna pick it up, I'm not gonna carry it with me. It's ugly, it's gross, it's hurtful, it's painful, but I'm not gonna carry it with me. And while I'd love to just settle here, because I think all of us need to hear this, and as much as I say, we should be, we should let it be a goal, a spiritual goal to be unoffendable. I think most of us are offended every day. And I could spend probably a month on this. I have spent plenty of time on on this particular idea. In fact, we have series on it. This is choosing to be forgiving in real time. Like right now, the next time someone offends me, I'm gonna forgive right away. I'm not gonna carry it, I'm not gonna hang on to it, I'm not gonna be silent. I'm gonna rise above it. So that's option number one is to just don't respond. Don't I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give you back what you gave me. Here's number two. Option number two is uh a little bit deeper, and option number two is to respond carefully. There are some of the critics in your life, and you'll have to pray about and uh discern. God, show me who I need to actually respond to. This might come in pretty handy if you're online and you're getting comments on Facebook, or if someone's commenting, you just posted a selfie, or you just posted whatever you put. Hey, here's us having dinner, and the first thing someone comes back and says,

Overlooking Offense Without Denial

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Why are you eating there? Why are you why are you dressed like that? Why are you with that person? And you just want to get them. This is when you decide. Number one, am I gonna respond? Maybe you just let it go. Number two, I should respond carefully. So maybe when I'm typing out a comment, like, you know what, I'm just gonna tell them what I think. Just don't post it right away. And just sit and think about it for a second, and you may delete it. You may change it, you may ask somebody else, you know, what should I say? How should I respond to this? Giving wisdom, allowing wisdom to lead you, when you react and you just fire off a response to someone whenever they uh say something ugly in the office, and you just fire right back and retaliate, and then you have to clean up the mess later. This is not just uh an emotional reaction, this is responding spiritually, thinking, God help me, listening to the Holy Spirit and letting him help you shape a response. We see this in Judges chapter 8, verse 1 and 2. Now the Ephraimites asked Gideon, Why have you treated us like this? Why didn't you call us when you went to fight Midian? And they challenged him vigorously. So that he has a group of people coming at him. You ever felt that? Why are you coming at me, bro? He has people just coming at him because he did some things, but he answered them. And then in the next few verses, it said it it it we're not gonna unpack it, but it shows that he responds to them in a very diplomatic, a very calculated, a very strategic, detailed, hey, I did this, and also I just appreciate how you did things. And he starts to like give them a little bit of faith. He starts trying to give them like, hey, uh

Option Two Respond With Wisdom

SPEAKER_01 17:49

if I could be as good as you. Almost that tone in his response, and it says in verse three, it says, When the men of Ephraim heard Gideon's answer, their anger subsided. Now, I just I'm gonna give you a warning and just give you a heads up that I don't think I've ever seen anyone change their opinion because of a post on social media. I don't think anyone has ever seen a comment and thought, oh man, you know what? I think I'm wrong. I so I have no delusions to think that if you'll just pray about your response, then people will change. I do think, however, that if you're authentic and you just face to face with someone and you give them a real and heartfelt response, the Bible says a kind answer turns away wrath. And so when people are coming at you, sometimes you have to take a step back and ask the Holy Spirit, help me lead this person to turn away wrath. Help me lead God this situation and this relationship to a better place so that I don't have to deal with this, and they don't have that. We both walk out of this together into a better place. People will challenge you and say, Well, why do you go to that church? Why do you why are you serving God anyway? God doesn't care about you. Why do you read your Bible so much? Why do you listen to that kind of music? Or why do you go to small groups so much? Sometimes those responses come from their uh their own inadequacies. They come from uh, well, I wanted you to go with me, but why do you have to do all that stuff? And sometimes they're competing, sometimes they feel like it they're defensive and they've built up walls. But when you add context, I think giving letting someone have a peek behind your uh your intentions and the reasons why you're doing what you're doing. Like God's really God's really working on my on my heart, God's really reshaping the way I see things, and I really need his word to show me, not just saying, hey, it's what I need to do. If I if I can help explain, that's really letting a light shine in a way that is a testimony to somebody that's not just, hey, I'm doing what's good for me, and we get defensive, and then they're defensive, and now all of a sudden we're combative again. This feels like a really uh practical, unspiritual thing, but it actually is a very spiritual principle. How I relate to people. How can I share God's love with someone in a way when they're coming at me, I have to I have to realize that they came at Jesus and yet He still changed the world in three years. So I can wait and add wisdom, maybe push pause on a message that I want to, or something that I want to post, or a text message I want to respond, or even an email that I just want to fire off to everybody that works with me. Most angry people are actually hurting people. A lot of times, our biggest critics are hiding the biggest pain. And this feels, I think, this particular idea feels a little bit like what I would tell my kids when they would come home and they would be upset because somebody said something to me, and my immediate response is you know what, they're just jealous. It feels like something you tell your kids so they'll feel better, but it's a lot of times it's true. If you know if you could know the reasons why people are being critical of you, a lot of times it's because they're carrying something from something that happened to them and they're feeling inadequate, they'll they're feeling insecure about themselves, and so they lash out. Hurting people hurt people. And I've never met a well adjusted, happy, healthy, productive person that's constantly making hateful, uh, critical comments online. The trolls, the people who are just out to get everything. I've never met someone who's Like that, but it's just for fun. And they're just doing it well, well meaning. No, that those people are you they have some issues. So if we could see the person's hurt in the past, what they're trying to put on us, I think that's something that God can help us to see. Here's option number three. Maybe number one, you may just not respond. Number two, you will um maybe respond, possibly respond carefully. And number three is that we should listen and make a change. There are maybe the few times when someone's criticizing me, when someone is just coming for me, there are those times where in the rare moments I need to recognize this is something maybe I do need to change. And we have to be careful here because if I take every one of them to heart, all of us, I'm gonna be crushed because there's too many critics, too many critics. Sometimes we can recognize that there is a bit of truth in the criticism. Even for the critics online, I try to look with uh a positive eye, a positive perspective sometimes that okay, well, what even the the if you want five-star things, I think, okay, well, how can we be a five-star church? Listen, even though it hurts my feelings for you to say that. But sometimes hurtful people

Hurting People Become Critics

SPEAKER_01 23:35

are right, and I know you don't want to hear that. Sometimes the critics in our life, sometimes the people who are overly judgmental, and they just come down sometimes, and y'all aren't gonna want to hear this at all, but sometimes your mom is right, sometimes your dad is right, sometimes your mother-in-law is right. Uh-oh. Somebody just got their feelings hurt right there. Sometimes it happens, and when I use the word Karen, I just noticed that our sweet, loving Karen is right here on the second row. That's not, this is not the Karen that I'm talking about. Sometimes hurtful people, sometimes critical people are right, and we have to we have to be able to discern is this something that I can learn from, is this something that I can grow from, especially if it's something that I'm hearing often. Like, can I just tell you, can you hear this from me? If everyone you know, if all your friends are telling you, uh, this is not the guy for you. This is not the girl that you need to be with, this is not the thing you need to be doing in your life. There may be some truth to it. This person might be the worst, and somehow, I know it's not, it feels impossible, but you could be wrong. If your wife tells you over and over who loves you that you have an issue, you maybe maybe you do have an issue. If your wife tells you over and over and over you're being too hard on the kids, you might want to just take a breath and step back and say, okay, just let me look it, let me look this over. Maybe I'm being too hard. Maybe I'm being too critical. Proverbs chapter 15, verse 31 says this. If you listen to constructive criticism, you'll be at home among the wise. That's where we should be. At home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself. Where are you at in this verse? Are you listening to constructive criticism? Are you rejecting discipline? But if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. I personally have learned from people who don't like me. That's a hard thing to say. I have there have been times, I remember one time we were at church, service went well, and then right, I usually am at the back door over here. I'm shaking everybody's hand, and I remember one time it wasn't here at this building, but one time I'm at the door shaking hands, and here comes someone in line, and they're holding all the papers from the church. They're holding all the printed materials. And then as soon as we get up to the line, this new person I'd never met before, this is the first time they've ever been to church. They hand me the stack of all of our printed materials. That's the service guide and the notes and the invite card and the connect card and the offering envelope, and they said, Um, Pastor, not hey, how are you doing? Thank you, good service, any of that, none of that. He said, I fixed all of your stuff. And so I open it and there's like this red marker around all these different things. I'm like, they're not even misspelled. He just thought they would be better if we reworded them and he just corrected everything. And I said, sir. Thank you. That's what I said. I said, thank you for doing

Option Three Learn And Change

SPEAKER_01 26:56

this. I will I wanted to say, why don't you go work on your own paperwork? Why don't you go when people comment online or when they come and tell me, some of you have been so you've had such great intentions that you come and tell us, hey, I think that the website has a lot of problems, and I've made a bunch of notes, and I think this would be better if you fixed it this way. You know what I want to say? Go fix your own website. But I don't say that because you don't have a website. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. But I do listen, and we do, even though sometimes it's a little bit, I'm like, come on, man, we're just doing the best we can. We have one person to manage all of this stuff. If you knew that it was Pastor Angela that did all of the website, you wouldn't be criticizing it. She does an awesome job, by the way. But we do take seriously. Like, if you see something that's wrong, I want to know. It might hurt my feelings. I'll try not to say anything ugly back, but I really do take it, I pay attention. And by the way, I've heard everyone tell me how muddy it is out of the parking lot. I know it's muddy in the parking lot. I park in the mud in the parking lot, too. All right, those are our options. We can not respond. We might be careful to respond, or number three, we may just take it to heart and then start looking really carefully. Okay, how can I look at this and make a change? Those are optional. I think that every one of those is like what we could do, or you may just take a step back and you may respond. But I think either whichever way you respond, whichever way that you choose to receive the insult and the criticism that will never and it will come. Whichever option you choose, I think I'm gonna give you. Here's number four, and number four is something I think you always have to do. Something that's not optional. This is something that we have to every day wake up and decide that I'm gonna guard my heart. So I'll wrap it up with this. This world is hard. In this world, you will we will have trouble. I want all kinds of people to hear this. Guard your heart. It's an important thing because out of the heart, you know what the Bible says about your heart. Guard it, because out of it comes every other part of your life. It affects every other thing you see, every other thing you talk about, every other relationship. And if that criticism lands and you allow it to come into your heart and become a root of bitterness or jealousy or insecurity, then it becomes this filter for everything else that you do in life. And if we don't guard our hearts, what happens is your criticism landing in my heart makes me critical. Then I start to reflect that same type of judgmental attitude. I start to become the same type of critic. I become the same kind of bully that just pushes people with, hey, I don't mean to nitpick, but let me tell you what's wrong with you. It's so easy to become that when that's all we hear. But if you'll guard your heart and just trust the Holy Spirit, and every time one of those insults lands, every time we we have to trust God and say, God help me with this. I don't want my heart to be jaded, I don't want my heart to become hard, I want my heart to be soft and pliable, so that when the seeds of the gospel and God's word come into my life, they're able to grow. And I'm not repelling all the good things because I've built up walls against the bad things. And I also don't want to join the ranks of all of the accusers. You know, the the Bible calls Satan the the accuser of the brethren. He's the he's our ultimate critic, he is the voice of ultimate criticism for every believer. Why aren't you doing this? You can't be good enough. God's grace is not enough for you. Why are you so dirty and filthy? And why'd you think these things and do these things? And God

Guard Your Heart From Bitterness

SPEAKER_01 31:30

doesn't love you, and God doesn't care about you, and you don't deserve to be sitting in this church or on the second row or the fifth row. You should be out in the backyard. The devil will tell us all of those things, and we get caught up in the criticisms and the accusations of life, and we don't guard our heart. What happens is we get on board with those criticisms. We start embodying the shame and the guilt that he would dump on us, and we start dumping it on other people, and we'll put it on our kids, and we'll put it on our wife, and we'll put it on our husband, and all the people that we care about so much, we start becoming that voice of accusation. Proverbs 12, verse 18 says, Some people make cutting remarks, remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. You have a choice. We use the term that we want to be life-giving. We want our words to be life-giving because you can either be life-giving or you can be life-taking. When I'm accusatory and I'm insulting, and I'm allowing that to be the tone of criticism and uh judgmental attitudes, then what happens is I become life-taking to the people around me. Sometimes it's hard, you're doing it with the best of intentions. Sometimes it's really difficult to see that I am that person who is fiercely negative. Because you're doing it with like, I want to help. If I don't say it, who will say it? And if we don't hold up a standard, how can we be excellent? Like, there's a lot of good reasons to be very ugly, but there's a lot of even better reasons to be life-giving and change the tone of how we approach people and how we how we help people get to the better version of themselves. I want my words to bring healing, and so that means I have to put aside sometimes my own opinions. I have to listen, it sounds a lot better to say I'm very opinionated than to say I'm very critical. But if you find that you have some really strong opinions about things, then you may need to temper, start praying about God. How can I, how can I reach people and make an impact and make a difference in people's lives and help people be better and do all of fulfill all the great intentions, but not transfer being judgmental. So, how do we overcome a critical spirit in two ways? How can I not only not be critical to people, but how do I protect my heart and how do I guard my heart, and how do I stand up against the critics that are coming at me? I have to overcome it personally and also to the people around me. How do I get free from criticism and free from being critical? Here's

Choose Healing Words Not Accusation

SPEAKER_01 34:45

the answer. Final answer. We have to become deeply grounded in our identity in Christ. When I know who I am in Christ, then I don't need to come at you to make myself feel better about my own insecurities. Then I erase the whole idea of like if people are just mean to me because they're jealous, I can eliminate that in myself because I'm not jealous. I know who I am. Last week it this is the same point from last week where we talked about clarifying our calling. Like, I know why I'm here, I know my purpose. You can criticize me all you want, but I know what I'm here for. You're not gonna your criticisms, your judgmental attitude is not gonna shake me because I am firmly standing on who I am. I know who God made me to be, and I know what I'm meant to be focused on. And I'm so confident in God's calling for me that what you say doesn't shake me. That's where we should strive to be, not in an ugly way, like, hey, I don't care what you say, I don't care what anybody says. I'm not trying to throw anybody away. What I'm trying to do is stand on who God made me to be, and He made me to love you, He made you to love other people, and He loved us first. So, how can I walk in that love even when people just absolutely suck? I can do it by standing firm and every day reminding myself this is why I'm here. I'm reading God's word, I'm filling myself with God's word so I know who I am. Because God's approval matters way more to me than your opinion does. Whether you approve of me or not, or whether the online critics, or whether we have all Google one stars, I'm gonna continue to do what God asked me to do. We're gonna continue to be the church that God made us to be. You've got to be the father and the mother. You

Identity In Christ Steadies You

SPEAKER_01 36:50

have to build the home that God made you to build, asked you and called you to build. And because I know who I am, I don't tear other people down. I'm not criticizing other people. I still want excellence. I'm not changing the standard of what's right and what's wrong, but I don't have to nitpick the world to death. I want to read you one last verse, and that is Romans chapter 14, verse 10, and then we're gonna pray. He says, So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we'll all stand before the judgment seat of God. And then he says this yes, each of us will give a personal account to God, so let's stop condemning each other. In other words, let him who has no sin cast the first stone. Like if you don't have any problems, quit looking at the beam in someone else's eye when there or the speck in someone else's eye when you have a beam in your own eye. We have enough to deal with to stand before God and him judge us. We have to stop criticizing each other. With that said, would you stand up on your feet and let's let's become a voice of light, a voice of love? Let's not be a voice of criticism or accusation. Let's be a people that builds up the church, builds up the body of Christ, builds up our wife and our husband. I want to look at my kids and and say, not what's wrong with them to make them better, but how can I build you up and make you stronger and more confident?

Stop Condemning And Build People Up

SPEAKER_01 38:35

How can I be life-giving? Would you say that out loud? Would you say that out loud? How can I be life-giving? Not life-taking. So I want us to uh just I want to say a prayer right now, and we're gonna be we're gonna choose to be a life-giving church, a life-giving people. Would you pray this with me? God, we thank you that you have called us to love people, even people who are hard to love, even in places that are it feels hard to love. Lord, help us to love, help us to step over the judgmental insults, help us to stop, step over the critics who are coming at us, those who are leaving us one star, those who can't see what our value truly is in you. God, we choose to be life-giving in everything that we do. In Jesus' name. We love you. Amen. Let's worship for a moment and spend a lot of people.

God’s Love And The Prodigal Son

SPEAKER_01 42:09

It's very easy to associate God and his ideas about you with the things that other people have said to you and about you, maybe uh a father or a mother or a pastor or things that you've heard from television evangelists and people who are just railing about all of the bad things that are wrong with you or me. Can I tell you something that God that God thinks about you much different than that? The Bible says that God loves us so much, has way more to say about how much he loves us and the good things that he's thinking about us. In fact, in Jeremiah, it says, I know the plans I have for you, and they are plans of good, plans to prosper you. He wants to bless you, he wants, he loves you, he cares about you. He loves you enough to take you however you are. He loves you too much to leave you there. He takes us on a journey. But you don't have to clean yourself up to get to God, you don't have to make sure everything is just perfect so you can approach God. The Bible gives a perfect example of when the prodigal son runs, takes off with all of his inheritance, and he goes off and squanders it, and then he ends up in the pig pen. Living and eating what the pigs eat and living a terrible existence. And he thinks if I could just go back to my father's house and be a servant, he comes in with this crushed mentality of I don't even deserve to be my father's son. If he'll just let me be a servant, they're doing better than I am. What do we see happen as soon as he starts back on the road home? The Bible says that when the father sees him far off, he runs to meet him. He doesn't wait for him to come back and say, Hey, I told you so. No, he runs to meet him. He puts a ring on his finger and he puts a coat on him. That's the way your father loves you. Today I want to give you an opportunity to say a prayer of faith, to just say a confession of

Prayer To Follow Jesus

SPEAKER_01 44:30

faith, to choose to follow him, to choose to make your life be about him and put your life back into his hands. Would you just bow your head right where you are and close your eyes? And if that's you and you're ready to give your life to Jesus, would you say these words with me? Would you say, Jesus, I choose to follow you today. I choose to give you my life. So forgive me of my sin. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for dying for me. Thank you for raising from the dead. So today, give me a new heart. Breathe life into me. And I'll follow you in Jesus' name. Amen. Would you put your hands together for everybody who said that prayer? I love you guys, and I'm so thrilled that you're here today. If you want to stick around for just a minute, the worship team is going to play. Otherwise, you guys are dismissed in Jesus' name. We will see you next week.