Relate Community Church
Relate Community Church
Fruitful Summer | Week 3 | The Fruit of Gentleness | Father's Day
June 15, 2025
Fruitful Summer Week 3
The Fruit of Gentleness
1. Gentleness Defuses Conflict
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
2. Gentleness Disarms Critics
The Lord’s servant must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient, instructing his opponents with gentleness. 2 Timothy 2:24
3. Gentleness is Pursuasive
Gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses. Proverbs 25:15 MSG
4. Gentleness is attractive
As a man of God… pursue what God approves of: godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:11 GW
You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:4 NLT
5. Gentleness earns respect
A woman of gentle grace will be respected. Proverbs 11:16
Moses was a very meek and gentle man. In fact, he was more gentle than anyone on the face of the earth! Numbers 12:3 AMP
6. Gentleness is a witness to unbelievers
Believers should never speak evil of anyone, nor be quarrelsome. Instead they should be gentle and show courtesy to everyone. Titus 3:2
7. Gentleness shows Love Like Jesus.
Husbands, love your wives and be gentle with them. Colossians 3:19
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 AMP
Times when I can practice gentleness this week:
When someone serves me
When someone disagrees with me
When someone disappoints me
Discussion Questions:
What’s one idea from the message that really stood out to you? Why did this idea grab your attention?
How does your gentleness grow when you consider what you’re called to carry inside of you as a believer in Christ?
How have you seen gentleness in yourself, or in someone you know, change when your identity and security was found in Christ?
Where do you need to be very intentional in practicing gentleness this week? With whom?
How does the forgiveness and grace shown to us through the cross, help us show the same grace toward others?
Thank you for listening to the Relate Community Church podcast! Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. If today’s message spoke to you, share it with a friend or leave us a review to help spread the word. To learn more about Relate Community Church, visit us at www.relatecommunity.com. You are always welcome here, and remember—you are loved
All right, we're going to get some light on me. There we go. I can see now. It is good to be in the house of the Lord and I'm excited to be with you guys today. Even on a holiday weekend, you guys are here at church ready to worship and celebrate the goodness of God. Come on, it's a good thing. I also want to take just a moment before I dive right into the message and say welcome to everybody watching online and if you're here in the room in person, can you help me welcome everybody who's online right now? Come on, we want you to know that we care about you. We love you. We're glad that you chose to worship with us today. It means a lot to us because I know you could worship anywhere. There are a lot of great preachers, pastors out there, but it means a lot for us to be in community together and be able to worship together.
Speaker 1:Today is going to be a little bit different. I think today is going to be a little bit of a surprise in the message, in that you know we're in the summer of fruitfulness. We're going to be studying the fruit of the Spirit all summer long, for nine solid weeks. We're looking at a different fruit. We looked at peace, we looked at patience. We're looking at a different fruit. We looked at peace, we looked at patience, and today we're diving into a surprising one, I think, because to me it goes right hand in hand. In fact, one of the reasons that I decided we're not going to go in order with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness we're going to go in the order that I think the weeks fit together and the way that we need to hear them, and so today's message goes right along with Father's Day, and it was a little bit tricky and to start things off, I thought let's do something a little bit fun and just for the fellas. Come on, fellas. Any men in the house? Any fathers in the house? Where's all the dads at? Come on. I know there are lots of very serious things happening in the world right now and we are just trusting God. I love what Pastor Jason said earlier, that no matter the things that are known and the things that are unknown, we can speculate all day long about the world and the things that are happening, but, listen, we can just trust a good father to take care of his children, that, no matter what comes, he's got us, amen, good. So today's message is going to kick off with something that I thought let's share, something that is just for the men and the women. You know this is not for you, but you can take it too.
Speaker 1:This is the top 10, imdb's top 10 manliest movies. First, one's no surprise, and that is many. Some of you probably have this on your favorites list and that is Braveheart Mel Gibson. Okay, it's a good, solid, it's a war movie, but hey, it's got some violence, it's got some pain, it's got a lot of muscle, it's got some weapons, all those things.
Speaker 1:But all the next nine of the countdown for me were a little bit of surprise in the way that they land. So, number nine Expendables 3. We have Sylvester Stallone front and center. Number eight, the number eight top 10 manliest movie, was Expendables 2, and number seven was no surprise at Expendables 1. So all three in a row, all of us just alone. And when I thought, okay, let's keep things, I thought who's more manly than Chuck Norris? But Expendables gives us a Chuck Norris quote, and that is Chuck Norris once got bitten by a venomous snake and after five days of excruciating pain the snake died. That's manly stuff, all right.
Speaker 1:Just when I thought we could get away from Sylvester Stallone. I come to number six, gives us Rambo Last Blood. If you've ever seen any of these movies, they're very similar. There's a lot of similarities to these movies and I thought let's diversify, let's get some more manly men in here. And no, we couldn't. Number five was the 2008 Rambo. Number four, rambo 3. Number three was Rambo 2. And you guessed it. Number two is Rambo First Blood. So Sylvester Stallone holds all of those. And then, finally, number one, predator, was number one.
Speaker 1:So I was very surprised when I went through that list, thinking, man, we're going to get some manly stuff. But what do those movies all have in common? Why are they the manliest? Because they kind of embody strength. You've got all these strong guys, lots of testosterone and ego and in your face, war, weapons and fighting and all of the things that we would classify as strong and manly. And so I thought what better thing for us to do to talk about something that is stronger than all of those things? But here's the surprise we don't associate this particular fruit with strength, although I take, I think and I'll prove, I'll show that I think it takes a lot more strength than all of those movies portray to exhibit this particular fruit and that is gentleness.
Speaker 1:Everybody say gentleness, it's the fruit of gentleness. In fact, when we think about gentleness, we don't think about strength, we don't think about strong manly bulging biceps. Whenever we think of gentleness, what do we think of? We think of weakness, we think of meek and mild and weak, but that in fact is not. I think it takes more strength to be gentle in most cases. I mean, if you're in a gentle environment, sure, anyone can be gentle, but when you're in a, let's say, a war zone, for instance, or whenever you turn on the news and all you see is bombings and fighting and struggle around the world, it's very hard to then just be oh man, I can be gentle.
Speaker 1:The Greek word for gentle in the New Testament actually refers to a couple of things, but the first would be like a fever being reduced, so something deadly being brought down and brought under control. Another reference in the Greek word would be an emperor calming his troops. So sure, we have elements of strength and war and weapons and fighting, but brought into control. So I'm going to give you a definition for gentleness today that will carry us through the message, and that is. You can write this down. In fact, if you don't have your notes out, go ahead and pull them out, because we are a note-taking church. So I think this definition will help you, and that is that gentleness is strength under control. Gentleness is strength under control.
Speaker 1:I don't think it takes any strength for the men in the house If you're thinking about what it means to be manly and a good father and a good dad, and if you're a woman looking for that man, or if you're looking for those qualities in the home. I don't think it takes any strength to be arrogant and prideful and get loud and get offended and get in your face and push you because you pushed me, or come at you with an attitude because you came at me with an attitude. I think, in fact, gentleness as a response and gentleness as a lifestyle is something that takes a lot of strength. There's a drug lord in the 1960s, 70s named Frank Lucas. There's a movie made about him called the American Gangster, and in it we see a quote from him that says the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room. Think about it. How many people do we know that want to portray themselves? They want to act like they're the strongest one, they will get in your face, and how dare you say anything to them? But truly, if you know, you know that the strongest one in the room is probably the quietest one in the room, the guy who's not saying anything, the girl who is not in your face, but you do not mess with that one. Those who know them know. So real gentleness is strength under control. That means I don't have to be driven by my emotions and have a short fuse and overreact to things. What I can do is let the fruit of the Spirit and before we dive into the real meat of this message, I want to challenge you with something. It's this Sometimes we think of the fruit of the Spirit as something that well, if I have the Holy Spirit in me, then I will have these fruit, but I don't think that's far enough.
Speaker 1:I have the Holy Spirit in me, then I will have these fruit, but I don't think that is. I don't think that's far enough. I think that's true. That's absolutely true. If I have the Holy Spirit alive and living and working in me, molding me, shaping me, here's what happens. I got the fruit of the Spirit coming out of me, like Jesus looking at the fig tree there's no fruit, so he curses it. But if I have the Holy Spirit living in me, working, active and alive, what's coming out of my life? What's coming about? True, but I don't think that goes far enough.
Speaker 1:I think that the truth is that if I have the Holy Spirit living me, I have the fruit in me, but I also have the fruit around me. So if there are people around me, then I should be planting the same seeds that are growing in me. Those seeds are growing in other people. That means my kids, my wife, my family, my friends. The community around me is flourishing with the fruit of the Holy Spirit. I'm not just looking to change my behavior. Hear me, hear me the fruit of the Spirit.
Speaker 1:This series is not about, hey, change your behavior, be more loving, be more kind, have more patience. It's about being people that are surrounded and flourishing in the fruit of the Holy Spirit in the community that we live in. That means if I walk into a place that is dark and unfruitful and not patient and not kind and not gentle, then I bring it with me and it begins to spread. I think that's raising an expectation of what God expects from us that he doesn't expect you to just start changing your fruit little by little, although that's part of it. So I'm going to give you seven things. I'm going to try to. I have about 22 minutes left. I'm going to give you seven things, so we're going to go quickly through them. You can write them down and I hope, to prove and show you and challenge you and inspire you to start looking for fruit this week. But let's be people.
Speaker 1:Yesterday we did an estate sale at our house, at our neighbor's house, my mother-in-law's house, because things are shifting around in an amazing way. But Grace and Jackson were back in the farm, at their Mimi's farm, and they were looking for fruit. They were tending the garden and walking up and down the aisles looking for fruit and sometimes you got not only have to look for it, you have to protect it and guard it and expect it. And there's work to doing not just farming but seeing the fruit of the Spirit coming to life in you. There's work to it. So that's what this summer is about.
Speaker 1:So, number one seven things that gentleness does. Number one gentleness diffuses conflict. Can you imagine we live in a world of conflict More and more and more everyday darkness surrounds us. You open social media conflict, open the news conflict, go to work. Sometimes you show up at home conflict. But if I have the fruit of the Spirit in me, if I have the Holy Spirit in me, what should happen? I should walk into a situation and start diffusing conflict. You'd think, well, why do I have to be the strong one? Why do I have to be the one that fixes it? Listen, it's part of leading. It's part of being God's children and a light in the darkness. Some of y'all are going to sleep, elbow your neighbor and tell him. You need to hear this. Some of you are sitting in conflict and you're waiting on someone else to fix it. Some of you continue to be bombarded with all of the things that keep you upset and keep you walking around in darkness, and you're frustrated and you're waiting on someone else to fix it. As carriers of the fruit of the Spirit, we should be the ones that walk into a situation and we should be able to trust God to help us defuse conflict.
Speaker 1:Watch this Proverbs, chapter 15, verse one a gentle answer turns away wrath. I mean I have the ability to speak to someone in a way that changes the situation, we don't always know the right words. The Bible says he'll give us the right words at the right time. Even we don't know what we're going to say. Sometimes I go into a situation and it's an impossible situation and I think, god, I have no idea what to say here. You're going to have to give me the words.
Speaker 1:When I walk in that room, it says but a harsh word stirs up anger. Where are you? Are you the peacemaker? Are you the one walking in gentleness? Or have you stood on principle and stood on your laurels? Hey, I'm going to. Whatever they give me, I'm going to give them back. They come at me, I'm coming at them.
Speaker 1:I know some of you guys very well and the reason we're talking about this today is because we need we all need to work on it. We all need, we all have these mirror neurons in our head that if you come at me with energy or attitude or anger, I can match it. I can come right back at you. That's a natural instinct. So it takes an unnatural instinct for us to respond spiritually and for us to come back. When anger is coming at me, I can come back with gentleness, I can come back with peace, I can come back with patience. So if somebody comes at you with their voice raised, you come back with your voice raised. But what if our natural response this week, what if we intended that when someone comes at me with their voice raised, I'll automatically just lower my voice and I don't mean where you come back and you just say the thing that you know will get them and you passive-aggressive. We all know how to say that thing, that I'll say it calmly, but you know I'm right. No, I mean, what if we came at them with gentleness and love and kindness, so it diffuses conflict?
Speaker 1:Number two gentleness disarms critics. So can I just warn you all this when you start to follow Jesus and it happened to Jesus, it's happened to everybody on the planet that has followed Jesus there will be critics that look at you and say who does he think he is, who does she think she is? You're going to have people who point at you and criticize, and what happens, I think, is that we're going to call it disarms critics. But I think what actually happens, it not just disarms them, it disappoints them. I think there are people in your life that don't they're not invested in what you're saying. They're not invested in your situation, but they would love to poke you and you're not giving them credit for that. You think that they actually care. You think okay.
Speaker 1:I'll give you one great example, and that is internet trolls. You got some people on your social media. They don't care about you at all, but they would love to just poke you. They would love to get you. They would love to believe that they could say something and just ruin your day, and for many they are. For a big part, they can ruin your day. I'll share with you one famous internet troll named Ken M. Go to the next one.
Speaker 1:So this is an article about NASA releases out of this world GoPro spacewalk footage. And so Ken M's first response is this space has been around for hundreds of years, but scientists still don't know much about it. Ridiculous. Rx says pretty sure, space has been around since the beginning of time. Michael says only hundreds of years. Ken responds with meant to say, hundreds of space years. Michael says what's a space year? Ken says a space year equals 365 days. Gazzimoto says wow, just wow. How many space years old are you, ken? And then Kim says I'm 73 in space years, but that's only 73 in earth years. I'm like what is it? This guy's an idiot, but really all he's doing is pushing buttons. All he wants to do is get somebody going and then he's got them right and now he has websites. He has a lot of different content out there where he just does this over and over and over.
Speaker 1:And there are people in your life that they don't care about you at all, but they're going to get you. If they could just get a conversation going, if they could just get you arguing with them. They're not even arguing the point and you're fighting so hard to defend yourself and put them in their place and they're playing. But what happens is gentleness. Whenever I respond in gentleness and realize this is not a fight that I'm willing to fight, it just disarms a situation. Some people even go further than that and they're addicted to anger and they're just trying to get you to fight because they love the fight. It's the only way they feel alive is if they can get you going. So they're always looking for a fight and don't look at the person sitting next to you, because it might be them looking for a fight.
Speaker 1:As a pastor over the last 25 years, I've been told several times. I can remember them well that I thought you were a pastor Because I didn't respond the way that they thought I should respond. In fact, I think most people will agree that pastors are not allowed to argue. But it's true. It's in the Bible 2 Timothy 2, verse 24. Not just pastors, but anyone who's called and follows Jesus. It says the Lord's servant must not quarrel that's you and me but must be gentle to who Are y'all reading it?
Speaker 1:Gentle to everyone, not just everyone who's in your family, not just everyone who agrees with you, not just everyone in your political party, not just everybody who goes to your church or thinks like you, acts like you, dresses like you. We are to be gentle to everyone. That means even if they come at you and we think, if they come at me, I'm coming for them. But that's not what I'm reading. That's not what the Holy Spirit wants from us. That's not the kind of fruit that God desires of us. The kind of fruit that he wants is a people that everyone can and will come at us and we just come right back with love, not passive-aggressive love, not passive-aggressive gentleness, but just real, authentic. From my heart. I'm not holding anything against you. I've already forgiven you for whatever you said and whatever you will say. I'm just going to be gentle to you because I care about you more than I care about what you're saying.
Speaker 1:And here's the real question Can you see yourself being that person, or does God still have to do the work where the fruit can't come out yet because you don't see yourself as that kind of plant that can produce that fruit? In fact, some of us, if we were to really get honest, instead of a fruit of peace and patience and gentleness, our fruit looks a lot more like anger. It says able to teach and patient, instructing his opponents with gentleness. So how does that look like for you? I pray that God begins to just show you a picture of what you would look like being gentle. You might be saying well, pastor John, I don't come from gentle people, I don't come from a gentle place. I didn't have a gentle raising. I come from violence and we do what we got to do. We get angry at each other, but we still love each other. Wait a second, who is your father? Who's your actual father? Because we have to stop just playing church and follow our father. We have to stop just playing church and follow our Father, because worship and I'm going to keep saying this worship is not singing songs, worship is living a life that honors Him, it's being who he made us to be.
Speaker 1:Number three gentleness is persuasive, and this is for all of our businessmen, and whether you consider yourself a businessman or not, or a businesswoman, we all have to be persuasive because, as leaders, as Christians, as businessmen, and whether you consider yourself a businessman or not, or a businesswoman, we all have to be persuasive because as leaders, as Christians, as business people, as husbands and wives and parents, we need people to follow us. And if I'm leading, that means I'm selling, that means I need you to buy into what I'm selling. And I'm telling you that how many of you guys grew up in either before or during the 80s, 90s? Okay, that's good, that's good we did.
Speaker 1:Times are different. The hard sell no longer works. You don't see the guy selling cars on TV saying come on down to the car lot right now and I'll get you a car, and when you get there, he doesn't say no, no, no, that's not. You don't want a red car, you want a blue car. No, I know what I want, and if you can't give me what I want, I'll go find somebody who can. The hard sell doesn't work and so we come in. If we come into a situation selling hard, gentleness works a lot better.
Speaker 1:Watch this Proverbs, chapter 25, verse 15 says gentle speech breaks down rigid defense. Gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses. There are people in your life that have built up walls and put you out and created divisions and the answer is not to break through that with violence or anger. The answer is to be gentle and love and peace and patience and kindness, and when we start to reflect the goodness and the grace of God, walls start breaking down. I like the NCV, a new, contemporary version. It says a gentle word can get through to the hard-headed. We all know some hard-headed people, but the answer is to not just beat them over the head to make it stick. The answer is to come in gentle and let God help us to influence the people around us.
Speaker 1:We're going to jump to number four. I'm trying to go quickly because I've got a countdown going. Number four gentleness is attractive. Gentleness is attractive. Okay, I want to talk for just a second about men and women in general. Let's talk to the men first. So, men, we want to be attractive. Let's talk to the men first. So, men, we want to be attractive, but I can almost promise you that the thing that a lot of times men think is attractive are not attractive to women and the things that women think are attractive to men are not what men are attracted to. So we have to get real, specific and intentional about what is attractive, and I think God, who made us, gives us a great insight into what that looks like. So, for men, if I want to attract a godly woman, then I have to be a godly man. Watch this 1 Timothy, chapter 6, verse 11. See if you can decode this as a man of God, pursue what God approves of Tall, dark, handsome, rich and famous. That's the JKV, the just kidding version. 1 Timothy 6.11. Here's the actual translation as a man of God, pursue what God approves of Godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. If I start becoming what God approves of, that's not just attractive to God, that attracts what God attracts.
Speaker 1:One of the greatest love stories in the Bible in the Old Testament, ruth and Boaz. We did a book study on Ruth not too long ago. Ruth this is one moment, one shining moment in that story and it gives us two real insights for every man trying to figure out what it looks like to attract the opposite sex. And this is what happens. Ruth answered to Boaz you are very kind to me, sir. You have made me feel better by speaking gently to me.
Speaker 1:So how many women can agree in the room that that's sometimes just what you need when you're not feeling right, you're not feeling good. Sometimes, as a husband, sometimes I feel like I have to fix everything. But then I just realized sometimes the right answer is just a gentle, just speaking to her gently. And then it goes on and gives us the other secret. At mealtime Boaz said to Ruth come and have a piece of bread and dip it in the sauce. There's more to it. You need good food and a gentle answer. So for all of my guys who are married, want to get married Jackson here on the second row, my future son-in-law a gentle answer Because I promise you, if you come in with, would you just calm down or why are you so upset? No, no, those types of things.
Speaker 1:Eventually Ruth and Boaz fall in love, get married and we see this incredible reflection of how God loves us and takes care of us and wants what he wants from us. But I heard someone say one time that if Boaz had been ruthless he would have been ruthless. Say one time that if Boaz had been ruthless he would have been ruthless. I know, I know, but he wasn't ruthless, he was gentle. He gave her a gentle response and he came in with gentleness and loving kindness. So here's for the women.
Speaker 1:I thought here's a verse that will help us to not just be attractive, but watch this. It says in 1 Peter 3, verse 4, what's attractive in a woman, and it takes us right back to the same point. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, like, instead of worrying about beauty that fades, beauty that it says, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. If we will focus on doing the things that attract God to us, those will also attract the right spouses and companions in life. So here we go. Number five reasons why and the things that gentleness will bring about. It is number five gentleness earns respect. Now, this is the one that seems counterintuitive. This is the one that seems backwards, because most of us, what we hear is well, if you don't respect me, I'll make you respect me. Now wait a second. That's not how God designed us. That's not how godly respect works. But gentleness actually will earn us respect for men and Proverbs 11, 16,. A woman of gentle grace will be respected. A woman of gentle grace will be respected.
Speaker 1:One of the most respected people on the planet, male or female, you'll all know her name right away, and that is Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa didn't get in anybody's face. She was only about five foot tall, a frail Romanian nun. But when she spoke, everybody listened. When she walked into a situation, people cared about and respected what she had to say, and it didn't matter how big she was. She didn't have to say it. In a certain way she was a gentle person.
Speaker 1:So if we want to lead in our church, in our home, in our community, if we want to be leaders in the world or in business, then we have to be gentle-hearted. If I have to get up in your face and shove it down your throat, that kind of proves the opposite point actually. If I have to throw my weight around and force people to follow, then I'm not actually a leader. I heard someone say that if you think you're leading but no one's following, you're just going for a walk. If I have to push my thoughts onto you, that doesn't make me a leader, but if I can be gentle.
Speaker 1:Moses was the perfect example of this. The Bible says that Moses was more humble and more gentle than anyone else on earth. Moses we see him leading millions of Israelites out of Egypt and into the promised land through the desert, following God's plans, rescuing his people. But we know that Moses actually had a big problem. If you read the story of Moses, you know that he had an anger problem. He killed an Egyptian soldier At one point. He's called upon to the mountain and God gives him the Ten Commandments that God carved. He comes down off the mountain and all the people are worshiping an idol. He gets so mad that he breaks the commandments. Dude has an anger problem, but the Bible says in Numbers 12, 3, that Moses was very meek and gentle man. In fact he was more gentle than anyone on the face of the earth. You know what that tells me. It doesn't matter if you have an anger problem. It doesn't matter if you grew up in a family surrounded by violent people or violence in the streets or violent attitudes or even abusive situations.
Speaker 1:We can let the Holy Spirit begin to change us and mold us and make us so that we can truly have godly fruit. Meekness, although it's so often associated, meekness is not weakness. Gentleness is not weakness. Gentleness is not weakness. Gentleness is actually strength under control. Gentleness is strength under control. So we can learn that. Number six we just have two more Gentleness becomes a witness to unbelievers, gentleness witnesses to unbelievers.
Speaker 1:So think about it this way. Think about this the average model for influencers in the world right now is to just be everywhere all the time. So everywhere people see you on social media, they see you on TV, they see you on commercial, the more visible they can get. They press themselves into your life at every turn and companies will pay to show you commercials that you don't want to see and will still buy their products. But if we're trying to win over a world that's lost, if we're trying to present the gospel to people in a way that they can say you know what I do need Jesus, they have to see a difference in us. There has to be some difference when they look at us. And what's the difference? The difference is that they see us surrounded by darkness, they see us surrounded by violence, and yet we can still be calm. Something in us doesn't have to respond to the violence that comes at me. My attitude doesn't have to reflect the bad attitude that's comes at me. My attitude doesn't have to reflect the bad attitude that's coming at me.
Speaker 1:Titus 3, verse 2, says believers should never speak evil of anyone. I think what happens as believers is what we do, is we see evil, we see bad things, and we immediately justify our own bad behavior, our own wrong fruit, and say well, I had to respond with bad fruit. Wait a second. It's because some part of us believes that bad fruit is required. That's why we have to buy into that. The only true and lasting fruit is the fruit of the spirit. It's the things that god wants to see in us. It's, it's all. It's completely anti our society, our culture, the things that we have embraced, our values. Well, I can be angry, I can fight for justice, I can get in your face, I can do all the things that we think we need to do, but wait a second. What about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness? What about what God values? Let's not let that fruit fall to the side. Believers should never speak of evil of anyone, nor be quarrelsome Again. We're called to not quarrel and fight. Instead, they should be gentle and show courtesy to everyone, everyone, even if I disagree, even if I don't like, even if you're my opponent, even if people are different than me.
Speaker 1:I heard Pastor Rick Warren say that you can't win your enemies to Christ. You can only win your friends. What does that mean? That means that I can't just decide to be a stick in the mud and tell everybody hey, if you don't love Jesus, forget you. You're dead to me. You don't agree with me. You're dead to me. You say ugly things on social media. You don't agree with me. You're dead to me. You say ugly things on social media. You don't dress and act and think and vote like me. You're dead to me. Wait a second. The only way that I can truly win someone to christ is to be friends with them and show them that I can love them, I can care for them, I can show them the fruit of the spirit. I'm different than everybody else because the fruit of the holy spirit is working and alive in me.
Speaker 1:And what happens when you do that?
Speaker 1:Here's the warning, fair warning. You start living like that. You start deciding to be different than the status quo. What happens is you're going to have critics. You're going to have people that will challenge you, people that will look at you and say, no, sir, that's not how it's supposed to be. You'll even have church people that think listen, when we started this church, I remember that some of the very first conversations that we had, when we told people we were gonna start a church, they would say well, who are you gonna allow to be in your church? Like you think I'm exaggerating, but literally we were having dinner with people every single night, sometimes two dinners every night, sometimes three dinners every night, back to back, and always the questions were the same. It was like interview style Well, we would love to think about being a part of what you're doing, but we want to get to know you and we want to know who you're going to allow to be a part of your church. Who are you going to allow to be a part of your church? Who are you going to allow to be a part of your team? What are we signing up for? Who are you going to allow to be baptized? Who are you going to allow to serve?
Speaker 1:And can I just tell you this, there's almost no qualifications to stand at the door and pass out a service guide. You don't have to prove anything to me except for that. You know how to smile and maybe, if someone tries to shake your hand, that's a very low bar. I don't have to decide whether or not you get to go to heaven or not. That's not my job and it's not your job. And so in our first year, when we had people who did not look like us and did not act like us and I remember in particular, there were probably 50 people in the church at that time and one whole family was an entirely Muslim family People kept saying Pastor Sean, you're going to let them come to church. I said how else are they going to hear about Jesus? Amen, hold on.
Speaker 1:We had a guy show up one time for about a month in a row before anybody said anything I forbade anyone to say anything to him because he kept coming to church in his boxers and his robe, like if you have your robe and you have a belt, there was no belt, it was just open, and I'm pretty sure he started drinking a few hours way early. People that don't look like us, don't act like us, don't think like us. But if we can't open up the doors of our life and say, look, I can be gentle with you, I don't have to lay down the hammer of the Word of God on you and how dare you come to church in your robe? I don't have to do that. I have to leave the door open in my life for people to be able to come to Jesus, because how, how else are they going to see Jesus than through us? But it will get you criticized here.
Speaker 1:Last one gentleness shows love like Jesus. Gentleness shows love like Jesus and I can't tell you how many times I've heard from believers and Christians, church people, jesus, so-called quote-unquote Jesus followers, that well, I just had to show them tough love. Oh, wait a second. There is tough love, and sure, jesus flipped over the tables. But it's very telling that we don't get upset about the same things Jesus got upset about. In fact, jesus was gentle with the people that we would get upset with and upset with the people that we would be gentle with.
Speaker 1:I wish we could spend another hour digging into it, but I know where my boundaries are with you guys. I know that. We need to just lay it out there and you need to let the Holy Spirit work. You need to decide that I'm going to let God be the potter and I'll be the clay, and whatever I'm supposed to look like, I'll do it. It's not coming from me. This is not me telling you to be more gentle. I'll do it. It's not coming from me. This is not me telling you to be more gentle.
Speaker 1:I think there's some part of us that we resist that anyway, because we don't want to be told to be smaller or be less than. How dare you try to quiet me? How dare you try to make me smaller? How dare you try to make me be a gentle spirit when I got more in me than that? Okay, but all of us fall short of the glory of God. All of us have something to work on. None of us are where we should be when we're born. We are a mess. So if we could stop looking at what we were when we were born and say, okay, god, none of us are what we should be. Make me what you want me to be. Help me to change my attitude, help me to change my heart, help me to change my outlook and the way that I receive people, the way that listen gentleness. Here's the biggest key of the day.
Speaker 1:Where does gentleness come from? Gentleness comes from forgiveness, because if I can look at you and you come at me with an attitude and I can instantly forgive you, you come at me with anger and I'm not holding that anger. Oh, I can't be, I can't be gentle to them, because they come at me. Wait, if I can be forgiving and pre-forgiving with you, no matter what you said to me in the past, no matter what you're saying now or in the future, I forgive you. I love you because God loves you, not because of what you're doing and God loves me not because of it's not because of how good I am that God loves me. It's because of how good he is, and so I choose to love you and be gentle because he's good. So gentleness shows love. Like Jesus.
Speaker 1:Husbands Colossians 3.19,. Husbands, love your wives and be gentle with them, so easy With our children. Ephesians says fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive, nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them, but bring them up tenderly, with loving, kindness and the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Like in every relationship husbands, wives, parents, children let's treat people with gentleness. Maybe you didn't grow up with this kind of father, but that's our Father now.
Speaker 1:So I want to end with this how can we practice gentleness this week? And then we're going to pray, but you have to be intent and intentional about practicing gentleness. Number one when someone's serving me, if you're trying to figure out how, I guess I'll be more gentle this week, there's some specific times you can be gentle. It's the times we don't want to be gentle. It's the times that, typically, you know what. Five minutes ago I asked for a drink refill. Five minutes ago I asked for some napkins. I asked for no ketchup on this burger. And how dare they?
Speaker 1:When someone's serving me, when someone's taking care of me, when you go to the DMV this week and you are at your wit's end and you've had enough, you need to say Holy Spirit, I need to be gentle right now. But when you start reaching for that fruit, what happens is the fruit starts coming, the fruit starts making itself present. Okay, here's another time when someone disagrees with you. When someone disagrees with me this week, I have the opportunity to now be gentle because disagrees with me this week. I have the opportunity to now be gentle because, hey, we don't agree what we could do. We could butt heads. People in your own camp, the people you think should agree with you, the people that you need to agree with you church, family, internet. The trolls will be coming this week. I don't know why, but every time I preach on something, if I preach on it, it's like all of a sudden, it's like the floodgates are loose, the floodgates open and then all of a sudden, we start in encountering that situation. Somebody's going to hit you on the internet this week. You just have to remember oh, they're just trolling. It's okay, I can disarm this situation number.
Speaker 1:The third one is this when someone disappoint this, when someone disappoints me, when someone disappoints me. So what is your gentleness level? If you could grade yourself on a scale of one to ten today, would it be a five? Would it be a six, a three? Let's let that fruit come alive in us this week. Let's be people who reflect the goodness and the grace of God by forgiving people. Would you stand up on your feet and I'm going to encourage you and challenge you as we spend just a couple minutes in worship before we dismiss Would you let the Holy Spirit speak to you and shine the spotlight into your heart to show you you need to be more gentle here. You need more fruit here. You need to work here. You need to let me work, yield to me, surrender to me right here, and let's grow. Let's have fruit in our lives. So, worship team, lead us in worship and let's take a moment and commit ourselves to the fruit of the Spirit.
Speaker 2:Show us your glory in wonder and surrender. We fall down. Show us your glory. Show us your glory. Let every burning heart be holy ground. Show us your glory. Show us your glory In wonder and surrender. We fall down. Show us your glory. Show us your glory. Let every burning heart be holy now. Chains fall, fear. Bow. Here. Now, jesus, you change everything. Lives healed, hope found here. Now. You change everything. Chains fall, fear, bow here. Now, jesus, you change everything. Lives here, hope found.
Speaker 1:Everything lies here, all found here. Now, jesus, you change everything. I just want to take a minute in closing. For all the fruit to work, for any fruit to begin to grow in our lives, it requires that we surrender. It requires that part of us yields. It's the part of us that doesn't want to yield, and so in prayer today, as I think every prayer should be, there has to be an element of surrender. So I want you to just take a minute. Would you open your hands in front of you as a sign of surrender and let's just pray for God to shape us in a way that produces fruit, that we become more like him. He wants to shape us in his image. It's not just random image that he wants to shape us. So let's pray, Dear heavenly father, we pray right now and surrender our lives.
Speaker 1:We yield to every desire that you have for us. We trust you, we believe in you, we follow you, jesus, and we ask God that you would make us in your will, that our lives would reflect your glory, that you would show us your glory, but then that glory would be reflected in us through the fruit of the Spirit every week as we take another step. This week. Let us give up our anger, give up the forcefulness that we think we have to have to live, and we can surrender to your way of life and living. In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1:Before we go, I want to give every person an opportunity to start a relationship with the Heavenly Father that loves you today. What better Father's Day could we have than to surrender our lives to him and begin to follow him? There's nothing he wants more than to be the loving, gentle, caring father, not just for the rest of this life but into eternity. And we start that relationship with a simple decision and a confession of our faith that we say in this prayer. So I would invite you to bow your head and close your eyes and if that's you today and you're ready to say that prayer, I won't embarrass you, but I'd love for you to repeat these words with us.
Speaker 1:Would you say these words, dear Heavenly Father, today I choose to follow you, to make you my Father. So forgive me of my sin, come into my life and save me. From this day forward, I want your fruit in my life. So I renounce the fruit of sin, the fruit of anger, the fruit of this world, and I embrace everything that you have for me In Jesus' name. Amen, amen. Let's put our hands together for those who said that prayer. I'm proud of you for saying that prayer. I'm going to invite the prayer team to join me at the front. If you'd like to say a prayer of faith with someone, over any issue, for any reason, then why don't you come forward and take one of them by the hand? Otherwise I'll dismiss you in the name of Jesus. God bless you and have a happy Father's Day.